#schoolwork i always get it done which is great and cool but i have

[justsomestoicguy]

The Red Means I Love You

It's been a week since my ill-fated slip-up with Stain. 

He left things off on a "let's continue this another time" note. But it's the kind where he purposefully tries to steer away from the topic.

And honestly? I'm grateful we haven't resumed that convo, because I am far from ready yet.

But on a lighter note, I managed to escape my group's wrath with the 'ol "family emergency" excuse. 

Well… mostly.

Tanaka gave me hell for ditching the project and my work. I had to play the sympathy card hard, claiming, "Family's complicated, you know?", knowing damn well she wouldn't buy it for one bit. But hey, it was enough to keep her off my back.

So now, I've settled into a routine: Ops on Tuesdays and Thursdays—schoolwork and friends the rest of the week. 

Oh, and keeping in touch with Stain through a burner phone. Very secret agent-y, if I do say so myself.

Today, I'm back at the 2nd Training Corps, which apparently only consists of Toga and me for now. 

I had some suspicions about why Stain placed me here with her, and they were immediately confirmed when Stain mentioned Scourge left him a list of people to take in in case of a worst-case scenario (shrewd as always, Scourge).

He thought that, by extension, that also meant getting me close with said people, and so he did what he did and put me here.

It left me wondering, though, what other names are on that list? Dabi? Twice? Other "salvageable" members from the League of Villains?

Unfortunately, I couldn't ask Stain about it since he's too busy running the Ops. Dude's surprisingly competent. 

And as for Toga, well…

"Ran-kun!" she calls out, her voice bright and bubbly. "You done sweeping over there?"

I finish up the last bit of dust and lean on my broom, glancing at her. "Yeah, just about. Sensei'll have our heads if she finds a speck of dirt left."

Why are we on cleaning duty, you may ask? Well, because according to our very wise and very pretty mentor, Onibi-sensei (or just Sensei as we call her), "Discipline is the key to success."

Not quite what I imagined when I signed up for secret vigilante work, but hey, I'll take what I can get for now.

Toga skips over to me, her smile widening. "It's kinda fun, y'know? Doing this with you."

"Sure," I say, forcing a chuckle. "As long as it doesn't involve getting yelled at, I'm game."

We've been getting along pretty well, all things considered. 

Unlike me, Toga has happily left her old life behind. And while I know her reasons (thanks, MHA fandom), I'm waiting for her to tell me herself. Building rapport and all that.

But, of course, it's never that simple. 

Toga has a... unique way of expressing affection. 

Case in point: she pulls out a knife, eyes twinkling with that signature, unsettling glee. "Ran-kun…" she addresses sweetly, almost innocently.

Great. Just great. I sigh, trying to keep my cool.

"No, Toga-chan," I say firmly, holding up a hand. 

Her smile falters, eyes darkening with a hint of hurt. I quickly add, "You shouldn't just rush into people like that. It's not polite. You should ask nicely first if you want something from them."

She blinks, caught off guard. For a moment, I think I've made a terrible mistake. But then her face lights up with pure unadulterated joy. 

"Oh! Okay! Er, Ran-kun, can I taste your blood, please? Pretty please?"

Don't be so blunt about it!

Still, I reluctantly (though I tried not to show it) nod. "I—sure. But let me do the dirty work myself. And no drinking directly from me, okay?" I motion for her to give me the knife.

She pouts, clearly not thrilled with the stipulations, but agrees, handing me the blade.

I scream internally, grabbing a cup from a nearby counter and mentally preparing to make a small incision on my hand. 

C'mon, Ran. Just get this over with.

Angling the knife, I slice swiftly, drawing blood from the back of my hand over the cup.

Y'ouch.

It hurts, but I'm thankfully able to keep a neutral face. Toga watches with rapt attention, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. 

As the cup fills to about a centimeter, I pull my hand back and press some tissues against the cut. 

Toga snatches the cup and downs it all in one go, her face glowing with satisfaction as her eyes fluttered shut in apparent ecstasy. 

Shivers. Everywhere. 

Yeesh.

"So sweet," she murmurs. "God, you're so sweet, Ran-kun." Toga grins and clings to my arm with a dreamy look. 

"I love you sooo, so much!"

Ah, the "L" word. Here we go.

Gotta shut this down, fast.

"I don't like girls," I blurted out. If there's anything that can get her to back off, it's this.

She blinks in surprise before beaming again. "That's okay! I can turn into a boy for you!"

"No," I said instantly, "that wouldn't be true to yourself, now wouldn't it?"

That finally gives her pause, and she sulks. "Oh..."

"But," I continue, searching for the right words, "you have the cutest smile a girl could ever have, y'know? And your love for people is... intense, to say the least. Which I deeply admire."

Her face lights up again. "You really think so?"

"Absolutely," I say, patting her on the shoulder. "But you deserve someone who'll love you the way you love them. And that someone just isn't me."

She looks down, clearly disheartened, but I emphasize, "Don't worry, I'll still be here for you as a friend, okay? We're friends, right?"

Her face brightens once more. "Yeah! Friends!"

I chuckle weakly, inwardly sighing in relief. 

It's hard work being in good graces with Toga, but I'll put up with it.

She was one of my favorite characters in MHA, for one.

For another…

Having someone with her quirk—perfect for infiltration and espionage—on my side could be invaluable. 

Especially with the goal I have in mind.

Just then, I hear the door creak.

Geh—Sensei's back.

"Boss Stendhal!" 

…Now that catches my attention. 

I turn around and see Stain approaching us.

"Boss Stendhal!" Toga repeats, waving at Stain excitedly. "Ran-kun and I were just finishing up our cleaning duties!"

Stain nods. "Good. Discipline is important."

He then turns his gaze toward me. "Akako Ran, I'd like to have a word with you."

My eyes widen, and a smile begins to blossom.

"Are we finally gonna talk about it?" I ask, skipping as I walk toward Stain.

He nods again. "Yes."

"Talk? About what?" Toga chimes in, gaze flicking back and forth between Stain and me.

"It's confidential, Toga Himiko," he replies.

This makes her pout. "Fiiine," she drawls, huffing her way away from us.

I watch her leave with a chuckle. It's good that she didn't protest, at least.

"Akako Ran."

I glance at Stain.

"Let's go somewhere private," he states.

My nerves and excitement become almost too much for me to handle.

"So you'll hear me out on my plan?" I whisper, wanting to make sure.

Stain studies my face.

"Since it concerns the Hero Public Safety Commission, after all."

Heh.

My grin broadens.

—

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Chapter 1

[softxsuki]

Congratulations on your Milestone :D. Could I have a Romantic matchup with date headcanons for BNHA and Mystic Messenger please? I’m a introverted straight female, 18 years old. Im an ISFP and an Aquarius. Personality-wise, I am really shy when first meeting people, not rude, just quiet and more of listener than a talker. When I open up I’m much more bubbly, sarcastic (playfully), and talkative. I’m very empathetic, laidback and open minded and extremely loyal to everyone in my life. I have a good sense of humour and laugh at most jokes. I love having banter back and forth. I’m also a pretty stubborn person and don’t swayed by peer pressure easily even though I’m extremely insecure regarding my personality, appearance and how I’m viewed by other people. I need to time to recharge after and sometimes during social events and am content with just listening to the other people speak to/around me.

Bad traits of mine would be that I’m a bit of a people pleaser, impatient, tend to overwork myself with schoolwork and study, get stressed easily and overanalyse everything (social stuff mostly). Idk what I consider to be my type but I do get drawn to confident and empathetic people with a good sense of humor. But I don’t like arrogance in a person. In any relationship (platonic or romance) I appreciate loyalty and honesty.

LIKES: Drawing, Music, Singing, Daydreaming, Going on walks and Reading. DISLIKES: The Dark (horrible phobia), Bugs, Spiders and Overly Aggressive, Loud and Pushy people. Thank you! -🔆

1000 Follower Event Matchup #16

This event is CLOSED. You can see the masterlist here.

Note: Thanks! Sorry for being so late, but I finally got this done for ya. Hope you enjoy.

I match you with KIRISHIMA, 707, LUKE

Runner-ups were Midoriya, Zen, and Vyn

Kirishima:

I think Kirishima is a good match for you

He knows how to have a good time and joke around, but he also knows when it’s time to step back and be a little more serious

This man drinks respect juice for breakfast, so no worries there, he’s very loyal and honest with you

Kiri is very empathetic, he has a big heart for everyone, especially you

He’s also confident, aside from some past issues he can’t fully get over, but he’s confident in the person he has become

Whether you’re talkative or not doesn’t matter, Kiri can talk forever, and if you are feeling talkative one day, he’d listen to you speak for days as well lol

Dates with Kirishima are full of fun

Amusement parks are his go-to, but he likes a nice movie and dinner date too if you’re feeling like you want a more chilled-out evening–he’s honestly cool with anything so long as it’s with you

He hold all the doors open for you and lends you his coat at the end of the night if it’s chilly out

We love him

707 (Saeyoung/Luciel):

Another great match I think

707 is just lots of fun to be around

He manages to always make you feel comfortable around him, and you find that you opened up pretty quickly to him when you first met

We all know that he went through a lot in life and tried pushing you away for a while, but now that you’re with him, he’s not letting go no matter what

He loves to joke around and make you laugh

He’s as loyal as they come, its only you and him. All he does is work and play games all day, who else would be meet with? As for honestly, he is always honest with you (unless you confront him about being up all night, but it’s obvious when his little white lies comes out) and ofc he can’t tell you any secret info that could put you in harms-way, but other than that you’re the only person he’s an open book with

Dates with 707 are mostly indoors so you never have to worry about your social battery running low (unless he wears you out lol)

He tries (and fails) to make dinner in which he has Vanderwood bring food for the both of you

Then you spend the rest of the day cuddling playing games or watching something on TV

Just very chill

Expect many kisses in between, he’s a little clingy (in a good way i think) and just wants to show you how much he cares for you whenever he gets the chance

Luke:

Ah yes the one who makes it his responsibility to take care of you physically and emotionally

You’re insecure? He’ll tell you everything he loves about you everyday until those thoughts are gone

Overworking yourself? Not on his watch, he reminds you to take breaks whenever he notices you’re doing too much work

He’ll even stop by and bring you some lunch so he knows you won’t forget to at least eat

He always watches out for you to make sure people don’t get the chance to walk all over you. He knows you’re a people pleaser, which is fine as long as you’re still thinking of yourself in the process and not allowing people to use you

Super protective of you (in a not so overbearing way. It’s just a sign that he really cares for you and wants to make sure you’re okay) so you’re in great hands

Dates with Luke are romantic

He pays attention to the little things you say, so he’ll pick up on restaurants you’ve wanted to try or maybe a cute little museum that you saw an ad for and he’ll plan it all out

Expect many surprise dates, he won’t tell you where you’re going, but only how you should dress (formal/casual/etc)

Lots of hand holding and playing footsie under the table at dinner

He’s just so whipped for you

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 5/25/2023

[just---keep---simming]

Chapter 2: Dangerous Liaison

So yeah, I'm still in school. Boring, I know, but my principal was right - I am really close to graduating. I'll be finishing soon, and as much as I think a high school diploma isn't going to help me, it also can't hurt. I'm hardly the school's top student but I did manage to pull my grades up to a B despite skipping a lot of classes to play music and never doing any homework.

School does have the upside of being a place to meet people. I didn't stay in touch with anyone from my old school, but it turned out to be easy to make new friends. Luna Villareal and I have fashion and beauty in common, but she actually cares about her schoolwork.

Forget school, though. One morning, when I'd decided to skip school altogether, I took the bus to Del Sol Valley. San Myshuno, where I live, is a great place to start your career as a famous musician, but Del Sol Valley is where you go once you're a rich megastar. I like to wander around downtown and imagine my name and face on a billboard, my shows in the stadiums, my mansion in the hills overlooking the valley. That's how I stumbled across the most amazing recording studio I'd ever seen. Anyone can book time in it, for a fee, but the manager told me famous musicians come here too to record their albums.

That's how I found myself down there basically every second day towards the end of my last year at school, and first year on my own, jamming and learning how to use the recording equipment, dreaming of writing my own music and recording it here one day.

That was pretty much the end of school, for me. I stayed enrolled right up until I finished, and I did get my diploma, but I was hardly there in the last couple of months. I hung out at Thriftea a couple of times, spent a little time with my classmates, but the recording studio was where I always wanted to be.

Cassandra missed having me around school, I knew, so I invited her to cut class with me a couple of times and check out the studio as well. She enjoyed meeting me in the valley and seeing me play. "You're really good, Grace. I reckon you're gonna be a star." "Thanks, Cass!"

Speaking of stars, guess who I met at the studio one day, not long after school had finished? Thorne Bailey! He was there re-recording an old track and I plucked up the courage to introduce myself. He was actually pretty cool, not stuck up at all, and chatted to me about music over lunch.

Even better, he agreed to listen to me play after he was done with his own work! He had some really nice things to say, told me to keep working at it and he'd help me strike a deal when the time was right, but that I needed to write my own music if I really wanted to make it big. He's totally right off course. I need to start thinking about what kind of songs I want to create.

Soon after school was out for good, the weather started getting colder. Harvestfest rolled around and Cassandra, knowing I'd be alone at my apartment otherwise, swung by to invite me to have dinner with her family for the holidays.

So off I went to Willow Creek, which is a little too close to my own parent's place for comfort, but I didn't bump into them while I was there, thank God. Cassandra's parents, Bella and Mortimer, are crazy rich, super glamorous, but really nice. At least they were nice to me, and Cass seems to like them. Her little brother is annoying, but that's normal for little brothers, I'm told.

Cassandra and I caught a cheesy horror movie to round out the day. It was nice...I guess I kind of miss some of the wholesome family things I gave up when I ran away to follow my dreams.

Life in my apartment is really different to the kind of life Cassandra has, and that I used to have. I bet Cass has never had a screaming argument with her elderly neighbour because he's blaring horrible oldies rock music at two in the morning!

Pretty soon, my birthday rolled around. I was finally turning eighteen! Cassandra had turned eighteen a few weeks earlier and Luna would have her own birthday in a couple more months. I invited them both out to dinner - just a cheap diner, I'm still broke - to celebrate.

Then we hit a club for drinks and karaoke.

And finally cake! Which means I am officially, for real, an adult, and even if they find me my parents can't do anything to stop me chasing my dreams.

Which meant I was back in the studio any time I wasn't at my barista job, spending nearly everything I made that I didn't have to use for rent on studio fees. I bumped into Thorne a lot during that time, and he always had good advice for me.

Then one day, he took my hands and smiled at me. "Look, Grace, I think you're something special. I'm very...drawn to you, and I want to be part of your journey. As a friend, as a mentor, or as more than that, if you're interested?" I stared at him in shock. "Aren't you married?" "Not happily. Octavia and I are figuring out the logistics of a divorce, but we're not going public with it for a while, for my son's sake."

Of course, the first thing I did after that was invite Cassandra over for a debrief. I made us onigiri as I filled her in. "Oh my God, Grace. Thorne Bailey propositioned you? THORNE BAILEY?" "Right?! He says he's divorcing his wife." "Girl, that sounds like the plot to a bad movie. Don't count on anything from him until the ink is dried on his divorce papers."

I knew she was right. It wasn't smart to take a famous, notoriously flirtatious celebrity at his word, or imagine that he was really that interested in a scruffy newbie to the world of music who could barely scrape together the studio fees. I spent a while focusing on my skills, practicing every second I could, and starting, tentatively, to write some of my own stuff.

But Thorne still came by regularly, still wanted to watch me play, still had nothing but constructive and kind things to say.

On top of that, I liked his company. He was fun. We had a lot in common, obviously with music being one of those things, and I found him easy to talk to.

So when he offered to get me a coffee and go over the songs I'd been writing one day, I accepted. How could I not?

One thing led to another. Luckily he'd taken me to Windenburg, away from any of his usual haunts, and the paparazzi that normally followed him to the doors of the studio (they weren't allowed inside) hadn't figured out to track him here.

[quackspot]

im   looking at psychology today for posibl therapists mayb  and     i   have decided t omake a pun with the folder name of bookmark haho

[frogtanii]

[buckle up; this one is a long one (1.6k words)]

things weren’t supposed to turn out this way.

she was supposed to show up, apologize “sincerely,” and the boys, her boys, were supposed to welcome her with open arms and swiftly discard of you.

instead, she was sitting in the back of a cramped police car with two pigs, one of which had a horrible b.o. problem and an affinity for sauerkraut.

it was so frustrating.

and, of course, it was all your fault.

you’d been blocking her from true happiness ever since the beginning when you’d first met in middle school. it was crazy because you’d actually seemed nice; kind, understanding, and you didn’t judge her for what her father did to her mother or for how she acted out because of that.

sure, you were a little weird and sometimes you could be downright rude to other kids in your class but you cared for her in a way that no one else had before.

(un)fortunately, you didn’t come alone — you were a packaged deal. your childhood friend, daishou, came into her life right along with you. she didn’t mind at first; daishou was fun when he wanted to be but he was mostly full of snarky comments and sarcastic quips.

the three of you spent all your time with each other; from playing at the playground to helping her begin her makeup youtube channel in 8th grade.

you all got along pretty well up until you got to highschool. once there, you threw yourself into your studies, sort of retracting yourself from her and daishou.

how selfish.

she couldn’t help but feel betrayed by you—you knew how bad she was at making friends and you didn’t even care, leaving her all alone to fend for herself.

well, not all by herself.

daishou was a constant. no matter where she was, or how alone she was feeling, he was there to provide entertainment at the most, and his presence at the least.

it wasn’t always the healthiest, most functional friendship, she could admit that. there were weeks that daishou would choose to ignore her for no apparent rhyme or reason, citing his explanation as he just didn’t feel like it.

obviously it sucked but he was her only friend, ever since you so cruelly abandoned them. i mean, you still ate lunch with them every day and invited them over to study and hang out, but it was not the same.

with you so absent, she grew closer and closer to daishou to the point she was spending almost every waking moment with him. and, as the story so goes, she fell for him, head over heels.

she knew it was a bad idea, if their friendship was anything to go off of but she didn’t care. she was desperate for love and physical affection and he seemed willing to at least give her the latter.

after she decided to confess, nerves all the way in her throat and a box of chocolates behind her back, daishou took her virginity in the back of his ford fusion, hard, fast and nothing like she’d imagined.

the next day, she’d cornered you in the library (where you always seemed to be) to tell you the good news. your face was unusually blank as she detailed the best night of her life to you, your response being less than stellar when she was done. “please be careful,” you had said.

what did that even mean? you clearly wanted to keep daishou safe from her which was ridiculous because weren’t you supposed to be her friend too? she’d stormed out of the library after that, determined to demand a kiss from daishou to make her feel better.

that day was one of the last that she’d see you for a while. you got caught up with clubs and schoolwork (and apparently therapy for god knows what) while she got caught up with daishou.

things with him weren’t... great. they never really were but things were getting even worse. his random bouts of silence got longer and though it was only freshman year and they’d been dating for less than 5 months, he’d meet with her after school with a hickey plastered on his collarbone that she knew she didn’t put there (she sucked even harder over the spot to claim it as her own).

as she said, things weren’t great but they weren’t horrible either. they remained that way all the way up until sophomore year.

you and her had drifted even further, hardly speaking to one another unless it was for a project or to vaguely greet one another in the halls. it was okay though. you had all your other friends and she... well she had daishou.

speaking of, her “boyfriend” had been more distant than usual. she wasn’t an idiot and she knew he’d been seeing other girls on the side, but she believed she would be the one he’d end up with, the one he’d marry.

how foolish she had been.

it was prom night and she felt beautiful. her beauty channel had finally begun picking up traction (she’d just hit 13k subscribers the night before!!) so she filmed a prom night makeup tutorial, making sure that every square inch of her face was perfect. donning a silky blue floor length dress, she felt like a princess and she certainly looked the part.

she showed up to daishou’s house about 30 minutes before the event, ringing his doorbell with an elated grin painted all over her face. he had mentioned in passing that his parents and older sister would be out for the weekend, leaving the house for themselves. that meant sex and sex meant being wanted.

after the third ring of the bell, she started to get nervous. maybe he wasn’t ready yet? maybe he needed help with his tie? just when she was about to wring the bell again, the door swung open to reveal daishou... not in his suit.

“oh, it’s you,” he’d grumbled. “‘m not goin’ to prom.” she felt her breath catch in her throat. she’d protested and begged for an explanation but he wouldn’t give one to her. eventually, she’d followed him into his house, furious because how could he do this to her? on her night?

it didn’t take very long for him to get fed up, his snake-like eyes honing in on her, filled with venom. “‘m not goin’ because i don’t like you anymore. you still look pretty though.”

just like that, with just a few words, he’d shattered her heart. she was frozen in place, completely disconnected from daishou, her love, as he not-so-gently pushed her out the door, slamming it in her face.

she felt tears stream down her cheeks and before she knew it, her legs were carrying her to a place she hadn’t been in months.

banging frantically on the door, she cried out, begging for someone, anyone to hear her. the door opened quickly and there you stood. you’d clearly been studying but as you took in her frazzled appearance, it seemed as though your heart broke.

you ushered her inside, sat her own the couch, and began to make her a cup of tea, your parents having been out for the night as well. once the kettle went off, you quickly prepped her drink and gave it to her, the words flowing out of her like liquid once she had taken a sip.

she didn’t know why she was even there but despite the animosity between the two of you, you seemed like you truly... cared. (neither of you mentioned the tears that stained your favorite t shirt or the quiet apologies you muttered into her hair).

that night quickly went and passed and by the next day, she was feeling rejuvenated and more like herself. however, that feeling quickly dissipated when she caught you in the hallway between classes speaking with daishou behind the stairwell in hushed tones.

within the span of a few hours, her heart had been broken twice and she was sure she’d never felt such heartache before.

she turned on her heel and darted away, avoiding your every attempt to talk to her for weeks and weeks until you just... stopped trying. after you’d cut off conversation, yet again, the sadness quickly festered and morphed into anger.

that anger only grew when she watched you graduate at the top of your class in your senior year, your smile blinding as you accepted your diploma. it only grew when she saw that you had made it into the university of your choice on your instagram story, her own rejection letter torn up in the bottom of her wastebin. it only grew when she saw you’d made your own youtube channel, her own going untouched and neglected (her last video had been a half-assed “get ready with me” that had more dislikes than likes due to her horrible makeup and even worse attitude).

soon enough, the rage had intensified until it had taken over her whole being. she was just so angry at all that you’d done to her, all the ways you’d ruined her life that she couldn’t keep herself from plotting your demise.

when she got the email from the hyper house management team that invited her into the house and offered the option that she could pick someone she wanted to move in as well, her anger turned into excitement.

this was her chance. this was her moment to turn your life into a living hell, to make it at least a fraction of what she went through by your hands.

she was going to make you pay and god, was it going to feel great.

the metal of the handcuffs chafed her wrists as she adjusted herself against the cool leather of the cruiser, the discomfort removing her from her reverie.

yeah, right. it seemed as though she was the only one “paying” right about now.

she tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling, tears filling her eyes but refusing to fall.

things definitely weren’t meant to turn out like this. not at all.

℗ poker face

not like this

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - OMFG THE BACKSTORY REVEALED I AM SO OVER IT >:(( this took me forever to write and i still wasn’t able to include everything i wanted to so hop over to my asks if you need any clarification!! oh oh && just a reminder, this playlist is from meiko’s perspective so chances are, things didn’t exactly go just like this wink wonk KAJS ANYWAYS DONT FORGET TO FEED ME ILY <3333

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saiKishaircLip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp • @keiarma • @shrimpypenis

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

[startanewdream]

Written for @efkgirldetective's Summer of Jily Prompt #7 (Ice cream + "I don't want anybody else touching you like I do).

Tumblr exclusive at the moment because I don't have a title and the 'happy ending' part of the 'angst with a happy ending' was lost somewhere.

Rated M.

I will love to hear your thoughts about this!

_______________

I.

She is at the end of her round, going towards his cabin—her friends’ cabin, though Lily knows exactly who she is hoping to meet there—when she hears it.

‘—and Potter, what a waste. He won’t ever join him.’

‘We should just wipe him away. Blood traitor, muggle lover—’

‘You mean mudblood lover, Severus?’ Avery’s voice is tinted with malice and there are snickers around. ‘Potter and Evans seem pretty close nowadays. Do you think she gives him everything she denied you?’

‘I would never filth myself,’ comes Snape’s cold reply. ‘If he is tainting his blood, all the worse for him.’

Taint his blood. Is this what Lily’s presence does to James? Is she putting him in a danger he didn’t need to be just by being closer to him?

It’s Snape’s words and she shouldn’t listen to him—the days where she would hear him, would admire him, are long gone—but when she finally reaches the cabin (when James grins at the sight of her, bright and warm, and her heart skips a beat and Lily has to smile back), she sits away from James.

‘Anything wrong?’ he asks, familiar enough to read the tension on her face.

‘No, all normal,’ Lily says, and it’s the first lie.

______

II.

It’s summer and everyone is out of age now and apparating makes things so easy that Lily finds herself less and less at home during that break.

She tells herself it’s because she is avoiding the presence of her sister’s annoying fiance; she blames the fact that Dorcas has a beach house and it’s so much better spending days swimming and tanning; she even goes introspective to blame the pressure of the war looming over them in a way that means she needs to enjoy the last summer break before real life gets them.

But she knows the reason is James.

She finds herself gravitating towards him, unable to resist that attraction even as she knows how dangerous it is for him. Once or twice Lily thinks of telling him about it, of warning how he is stupidly raising his stakes by being near her, but she gives up only for the fact that this (might drive him away and she doesn't want it, not really) would probably just make him want to be even closer to her.

And they are already alarmingly close.

Once Lily would have been repulsed by that idea, but one year later everything has changed—James has changed—and everything about him appeals to her. The way he cares for everyone around him. The way he smiles patiently whenever he is explaining something. The way he grins as if to invite the world to share a great funny joke with him. How he runs his hand through his hair when he’s nervous. How he is so expansive that he seems to occupy any room he is in. How he loves flying, even more than Quidditch, and how relaxed he seems when he is on a broom. How he talks to her, taking it seriously when she needs to and making a joke when things get too serious. How he opens up about his own life and doubts and listens to her.

That would make them friends, really good friends, but then Lily’s heart would not stop racing when he’d touched her hand, or when their knees would bump while sitting closely in the library and then she was forced to note all the physical aspects—the muscles of his arms, the shape of full lips, the line of his jaw, the hazel kaleidoscope of his eyes and how fit he was—and give up any belief her feelings were limited to a friendship.

She fancies him, okay.

Except it’s not okay, because it’s dangerous and by now Lily is positive that James knows it too. Everyone knows it.

They end up together, just the two of them, a lot during that summer. It takes Lily a few days to realize it’s not a coincidence that her interests never align with those of her friends—if she wants to swim, somehow it’s only her and James in the sea; at night, even though it’s still so warm, they are the only ones who venture into the pool for a midnight swim, while the others stay stubbornly indoors.

When Lily suggests going to town to grab an ice cream, somehow James is the only one who is in the mood for it, despite the heat.

It’s not on purpose from his part—at least that’s how Lily sees it—but he isn’t refusing her company either and neither is she refusing his, so James’ boldness flourishes that summer. It’s not cocky as it once would be, it’s just a quiet acceptance that something is finally happening between them as if he never stopped believing it would be possible. Lily feels it when he throws his arm around her shoulders when they are sitting close, almost absently, almost not noticing when Lily lays her head over his shoulder; it’s there when he openly gawks the first time he sees her in a swimming suit, only to be nudged in the ribs by Sirius and then complimenting her ('good thing you wear robes at school, Evans, or there wouldn’t be much schoolwork done'). It’s definitely there when he intertwines their hands, pulling her to the sea with him.

And it’s there when they are sitting closer than they would need for a bench so wide, watching seagulls flying over the sea, each one holding an ice cream.

‘Chocolate chips with chocolate cover and chocolate sprinkles,’ James teases. ‘I think you have an addiction, Lily.’

‘Guilty,’ she replies, not ashamed at all, proving her ice cream and very aware of how James is staring at her. ‘It’s better than asking for vanilla ice cream.’

‘Hey!’ He would look deeply offended if not for the grin on his lips. ‘I’ll let you know vanilla is the best flavour.’

‘Never took you for a vanilla guy, James.’

‘What would take me for? The adventurous gorgeous type?’

Lily laughs, but she doesn’t answer. She doesn’t want to lie to him and deny it.

‘Attractive mysterious type, then?’ he insists. ‘Handsome scoundrel?’

‘I notice your beauty is enhanced a lot.’

‘My beauty? So you admit that I’m beautiful, Evans?’

‘Do I need to? You seem to already know it.’

‘I enjoy hearing you saying all the same,’ he says, and though James shrugs easily she can sense the shift in his eyes, the nervous glint there. ‘That means we would make a beautiful couple.’

‘We would,’ she whispers, still not wanting to lie.

She turns back her attention to the ice cream, already melting under the scorching sun. It makes a mess, and James laughs as she tries to lick the ice cream out of her hands, but then his laugh dies and she watches him swallow slowly, reacting. He always reacts to her.

She licks her lips now, and he also watches this movement, the grin on his face replaced by concentration—no, determination, a fierce look and Lily knows what James will do even before he raises his hand to slide his thumb at the corner of her mouth.

‘You missed here,’ he says, and though he must have wiped off the ice cream already, his caress remains.

His eyes are dark now, even under the sunlight, and he registers how Lily hasn’t stepped back, how she raises her head just the slightest to get closer to him. His gaze strays to her lips, Lily blinks, and then James looks back at her.

‘Lily,’ he says, and it’s a question.

‘James,’ she says, and it’s the only answer she can give him.

His lips find hers and in the bright darkness that surrounds Lily when she closes her eyes, she can see everything in colour. The white of his taste of vanilla. The green of his perfume that reminds her of early mourning in the woods. The brown of his skin as he pulls her closer, one hand holding the back of her neck and the other hand finding hers, locking their fingers together. The red of her blood pumping furiously through her veins, so loud and unstoppable.

And she sees him, messy dark hair, hazel bright eyes, her own sun.

But when they break apart, when she watches him keeping his eyes closed a second longer—savouring it, remembering it—, all that comes to her mind it’s the warning.

Taint his blood.

Her smile falters.

‘James,’ she whispers, all warmth of the day gone, hating everything but herself so much more when he opens his eyes and they are filled with hope. ‘This doesn’t mean anything.’

And this is the second lie she tells him.

___________

III.

Summer is over as far as Lily is concerned, but they still have two weeks in which she forces a smile up to her lips that doesn’t fool anyone.

Everyone knows something happened, though no one knows exactly what, and Lily feels too tired to pretend everything is normal. James barely acknowledges her when they are in the same room, and in the few occasions their eyes meet, there is nothing of that familiarity that he once thrived to share with her. He looks confused and hurt.

Lily could deal with the confusion but she is powerless against the hurt. She is the one who damaged him after all.

Their friends are mostly adamant in letting them deal with the situation, one notable exception being Sirius Black, but Lily didn’t expect anything less from him. He watches her rather resentfully in the first days, and Lily starts looking for excuses to avoid attending the events she had carefully arranged with them (with James, sitting by the edge of the lake, holding a scroll against his back as they wrote everything they would do, laughing and planning and hoping).

The summer days are hot, unbearably hot, and the breeze that comes through the window of her room isn’t enough. She could cast a Cooling Charm, but her wand is far away and the fact that she can cast spells outside school has lost its appeal now. She doesn't even celebrate when her school letter comes with a badge attached to it.

Most of the time Lily just stares at the ceiling of her room, finding patterns in the painting that aren’t really there, too strained and too tired to avoid being even more strained—her mind keeps replaying the moment James leaned closer, the brief moment his breath tingled her skin and the softness of his lips over hers, and Lily has no strength to avoid it. She is addicted to it, to the one thing she had a taste of and cannot have again.

Five days into hiding (she is hiding, Lily won’t deny it), her sister knocks on her door to tell her unceremoniously that one of her freak friends has come to visit her.

‘Hurry, I don’t want Vernon finding him when he arrives,’ Petunia tells her, and Lily ignores her completely.

Him, she said. Him, Lily thinks, and her mind conjures James sitting on the couch of her parents’ living room, a grin on his lips as he charms his way with her parents (he charmed her, Lily doesn’t see what challenge her parents would present), accepting a cup of tea and looking around trying to understand all the muggle contraptions in that muggle house—

Muggle lover. All the worse for him.

She rushes downstairs, her heart pounding on her head, her mouth dry with the excuses she will have to present (go away, just go away) but it’s not James after all.

Sirius looks even more out of place than the James she imagined inside her head, standing with his arms crossed in that pastel living room, and with an unhappy grimace on his lips. He turns at the sound of her, his grey eyes burning disapprovingly—and then, as he stares at her, his expression shifts.

‘You are a mess, Evans.’

Self-consciousness washes over her, and Lily runs her hand through her hair—or tries to, because it gets stuck in the knots of her messy braid. She knows she hasn’t changed clothes ever since she woke up, though it’s nearly midday, so she does the only thing she can: she presses her lips, crosses her arms and tries to look unfazed.

‘I wasn’t expecting a visit,’ she says. It’s summer break, she can do nothing all day.

‘I didn’t even mean your appearance. It was more your… aura.’

‘Aura,’ she repeats, a tiny part of her finding this amusing, but Lily can’t muster strength enough to break a smile. ‘Very mystical, Sirius.’

‘That’s me, master of occult arts. But in this case, I just needed to look at you. You—you look miserable.’

‘Thanks. If that’s all you wanted to say—’

‘Oh, no, I came here to give you a piece of my mind about how you broke my best friend’s heart, but you look somehow worse than him. What’s going on?’

Lily shrugs. ‘Nothing.’

‘So you just decided to play with his feelings and ditch him the moment he corresponded?’

His words are a poison that crawls through her skin, entering it slowly but certain; Lily feels it reaching her bloodstream, spreading through every part of her body, until the poison finds her heart. She thought she was oblivious to pain after the last days, but she was wrong.

‘I wasn’t playing with his feelings,’ she whispers, her voice hoarse, so close to breaking.

‘Then what? I thought—everyone thought—you fancied him too. Merlin, Evans, that boy was in love with you.’

The worst part is that Lily knows it. It was not a play to James, it never was. She saw it in the way his face lighted up at the sight of her, how eager he was to become friends once Lily first extended her peace flag. She saw how his eyes always looked first for her in any room he entered, how he’d find any reason to stay closer.

And she saw everything because she was paying attention.

Of course she was. One does not fall in love also if not paying attention.

‘I don’t know what to say, Sirius,’ Lily says truthfully. ‘I am sorry for all the confusion I’ve caused.’

‘Sorry is not enough.’

‘I know.’

Sirius watches her with something that borders on disappointment now. ‘You better find a way of fixing this, Evans.’

‘I—I don’t know how. I’m trying to keep my distance—’

‘And how is that helping you two?’

It’s not, Lily knows, and that’s the point. She can’t explain to James what is the problem and she is afraid that if she sees him again, if her determination falters her for one second—

‘We are going to have a party tomorrow night,’ Sirius says, his voice leaving no room for argument. ‘Dorcas’ house. It’s a goodbye party, we even invited the muggle neighbours. You’ll come, you’ll find James and you’ll talk. Fix this.’

‘I can’t.’

‘You better find a way, Evans, because that thing of keeping your distance? Well, Hogwarts letter came yesterday. Let me guess, you are Head Girl.’

Lily nods, not understanding where Sirius is heading with this.

‘Guess who’s Head Boy this year?’

____________

Lily hears the music as soon as she disapparates near Dorcas’ house. People, young people around her age, are walking towards the house and she joins the flow letting herself get lost in that stream of people, hoping it’s enough to not draw attention to her presence.

It’s useless. As soon as she crosses the doorway, Dorcas cries for her, her voice louder than the music, and then people look at her curiously.

‘Merlin, Lily!’ Dorcas cries, ignoring everyone in the room to whom that sentence makes no sense. ‘I thought I would need to invade the Prefect’s Cabin to see you again.’

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Lily says, accepting Dorcas’ hug, and using it as an excuse to avoid looking around. ‘I had stuff to do.’

It’s vague, it’s almost a lie, and Dorcas is on the edge of discussing it when Lily says she is going to get a drink, leaving the room.

When she reaches the kitchen, Lily considers that having herself questioned by Dorcas was preferable, because of course she runs into James at the first opportunity.

And of course he already has a company.

He is with his back to her, holding a bottle of beer in his hand while he talks with a pretty dark-haired girl. In another time Lily would find amusing how James obviously has no idea what he’s talking about—muggle rock bands, a subject that Sirius would fare better—, but she can’t break a smile right now, because she sees that James is trying.

That’s what he is doing with that unknown girl. He is making a real effort to keep a conversation, trying to understand what she is saying; he is trying to look interesting, to gather her attention.

Ten days, she thinks selfishly. We kissed ten days ago and I can’t stop thinking about it and you are flirting with another girl.

He must sense her staring; he turns around, and his eyes find her for a brief second before Lily bolts through the door (she is running, and she won’t deny it), grabbing the first bottle she sees on her way out.

Sirius must have lied to her (you broke my best friend’s heart), because James looks normal. Not hurt anymore, just… normal. Not like he used to like her in those first glorious days of the summer—bright and hopeful and awaiting—but as if she is just anyone else. Ordinary.

It’s fair, all things considered. She couldn’t expect him to remain in love with the girl who kissed him then rejected him. But she sees it, clearly as day, what the future holds: James will move on whatever he feels for her (that boy was in love with you) and then he will do with someone else everything he used to do with her—that inviting grins, the glint in his eyes, throwing his arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer, so… intimate. Familiar. Hers.

He will share with others what used to be hers.

She leaves the house, in search of a quiet place at the beach to sit on, and looks at the bottle in her hands. Wine. Not good. She will take forever to get drunk on wine and afterwards the headache won’t even be worth it.

But it’s all she has and James is somewhere in that house flirting with a girl (that’s not her) that didn’t reject him and he has every right to do it. Even if it’s a muggle girl. Even if the reason Lily is not with him is that she is muggleborn.

It’s ironic and it’s sad, but it’s not the same. This is a one-night thing. It’s the end of the summer, he’s probably just looking for the last bit of carefree summer adventure as the single guy he is. They will just dance with each other, close together, enjoying their freedom, finding a secluded room, and he will touch the corner of her lips, asking, and she will say yes because that’s the only answer she can give him.

It won’t mean anything, but this time it will be true and this time James won’t get hurt by it.

Maybe Lily should do the same. Not to get even, but to start her own way forward. She can’t be harbouring her feelings for him—wasn’t that the point of not advancing things? Wasn’t that why she lied to him? (That kiss had meant everything)

She takes a sip of the wine, then another and one more for good measure, and she rises, almost colliding with him. Of course.

‘Hey,’ he says awkwardly, arms extended to steady her. It lasts less than a second, but his hands over her arms burn all the same, stronger than the heat any day of that summer.

‘Hi.’

He is looking at a point over her head, unable to meet her eyes, his hand lifting the hair at the back of his head and Lily remembers running her fingers through the strands of his hair while they were kissing, enjoying the fact that for once she was the one messing it.

‘Look, I’m just gonna say it, okay?’ James says in a rush, not as when he is excitedly talking about something he finds interesting. ‘I’m sorry for—for everything.’

Everything. What does it mean?

‘I am too,’ she answers carefully. He takes a deep breath.

‘I heard we are going to be Heads this year—I don’t know what Dumbledore was thinking, really—and I don’t want things to be weird between us.’

Weird. Things were never weird between them before. They weren’t friends, then Lily barely stood him, then they were acquaintances, then they were friends, then they were flirting with each other and then they were so close to something.

But never weird.

Somehow this notion helps to clear the fog in her head.

‘I don’t want it either,’ Lily says, and there is no doubt in her voice. James seems to breathe again with her words.

‘Good.’ There is a moment of silence. ‘Can we forget everything and go back to being just friends?’

Lily steels herself. She takes a look at James’ face—his eyes are on her forehead now, almost meeting her eyes but not yet ready—, one last look to admire him in the darkness of the beach and she is not lying when she says: ‘We can.’

By the end of the night it will be a lie, though, and that’s number three.

___________

They are trying and because no one tries better than James Potter, they are almost achieving it.

They go back to the house, keeping a safe distance between them so no one could misinterpret it, but whatever their friends see in their faces seems to relax everyone. Lily and James are fine, they believe, they are over that weird thing between them, and Lily starts believing it too.

She can do it.

A bottle of gin finds its way towards her group and the music is exciting. It’s a party, she is on a party, and it’s easy to join Dorcas in the middle of a dance, and it’s even easier when Dorcas is replaced by a cute muggle boy who doesn’t look anything like James (that’s why it’s easier—it takes only one second for her to look for any similarity and find none and it’s so easy).

She wonders if that’s why James was talking to that dark-haired girl. If he was avoiding finding Lily in someone else too.

But that’s a bad thought, it’s not a thought of someone who’s trying (and Lily is, she swears), so she accepts his arms, let who-knows-his-name twirl her around the room, but when he leans in to kiss her, she laughs and diverts—she is trying, but it takes small steps, so she says something about getting another drink and goes to the next room.

That’s a mistake.

A big, big mistake.

She finds them sitting close together on a couch that should only fit one, joining some silly drinking game. His arm is around her shoulders, holding a glass that’s nearly finished; they are laughing and as Lily watches it, the girl leans closer to speak something in his ear, her hand playing with the curls of his hair as she speaks. It takes a full second, but he grins, turning to her and winking.

It could be nothing, it could be just some joke, but it’s not harmless, Lily knows it. It’s a flirt, and James has every right to do it; he is free and Lily has just told him they can be friends. Friends don’t get jealous. Friends don’t get their hearts ripped out with the sight of the other smiling happily at someone else.

Lily can’t do it at all.

So she turns away and runs once more (she’s getting quite good at it by now), sprinting upstairs in search of an empty room, somewhere where she can rest until she can breathe again, until she can rearrange her expression into something normal enough for her to come back to the party, find that blond guy who is not James and enjoy her summer break as he is doing right now.

Until she can pretend everything is normal.

‘Lily?’

His voice breaks the silence of that room—though Lily knows she would have heard it anyway—and it sends a wave of panic through her body. She is not ready. She can’t look at him and still keep her promise.

James doesn’t know about her troubles—he is trying after all, and he is so much better at this than Lily will ever be—so he walks towards her, takes a look at her face and kneels in front of her.

‘Are you okay?’

‘No,’ she says, unable to lie. He would see through her anyway.

‘I saw you leaving—what happened?’

‘I need more time. I can’t...’

‘Can’t what?’ She doesn’t answer. James sighs. ‘Are you drunk? Come on, rest a little, I will bring you some water—’

‘I’m not drunk,’ Lily says. Another truth. ‘I just need—I want—’

‘What?’

In answer, she raises her hand and lets her fingers comb his hair. He shivers, his breath catching, his eyes widening and he holds her arm to stop the movement. Nervous. Insecure. She can’t fault him. They’ve been there before, at the edge of something, and she accepted only to turn him away a second later.

‘What are you doing?’

It’s a demand more than a question, and Lily attends it. ‘I don’t want anybody else touching you like I do. It’s mine.’

Her voice is ferocious and unfair and Lily waits for his cold reply, the one she deserves—she has no right to claim any part of him—, but it never comes. Instead, James blinks.

‘Then take it,’ he challenges. Lily does.

Her lips crash over his, and this time is not soft or patient. It’s desperate and when she tastes the whiskey in his mouth, she understands the difference and gladly accepts it. His hands are everywhere—holding her waist, climbing under her skirt, running through her hair to pull her closer—but what somehow stays with her it’s the moment he closes the door and then they are alone and the darkness is their friend.

The darkness makes it easy, embarrassingly easy, for her to break the kiss enough to lift his shirt and for him to slide her dress down and for them to find their way to the bed. He holds her, his lips incessantly, and a part of Lily wonders if he doesn’t want to break apart for fear of what happened the last time he did it.

But the majority of her is too wrapped in the feelings he is bringing to worry about anything. She accepts him, accepts every caress he distributes openly, and returns it eagerly. She tastes the saltiness of his skin, feels every muscle of his chest—the ones she has memorized after so many days at the beach though she had only imagined how they would feel under her fingers—, presses herself closer to him. His hands are exploring her—he saw her at the beach too—and then his mouth replaces his hands and the moan that escapes her lips is true.

She pulls him up, tasting her own sweat on his lips—it was a warm day and it’s a warmer night—and her hands work on the button of his jeans. There is a moment of hesitation—he breaks away, his eyes boring into hers even as the darkness barely allows them to see each other—and then it’s gone. He pulls her last piece of cloth then stands up long enough to take out his last one and then there is only them.

Only Lily and James, except they don’t feel like two anymore. They are one and in the darkness, Lily sees those colours that are so James once more, fireworks whose sounds are moans and short breaths and names whispered so low that the other could pretend they didn’t hear.

But Lily hears it and it’s hers. He is hers for that moment and she is his.

She lied before (and now she knows it). She can’t forget him. She can’t be just friends. James is bright sunny days, cosy cold nights and she longs to share it all with him (she couldn’t, but her mind can’t recall why right now). She locks her hand with his, her nails burying into his skin, and Lily doesn’t want to let go.

He holds her hand, pressing it so hard that she can’t feel circulation there anymore, and then he cries her name, this time impossible to deny it. He called her.

It’s not the last time he will do it tonight. He presses another kiss to her lips—it’s feverish and urgent and somehow even more desperate than the first one—, rests his forehead against her catching his breath and Lily enjoys the moment, enjoys that pleasure and soreness that runs through her body, enjoys how her chest brushes against his as she breathes, slower each time, recovering.

Recover. As if she could.

James breaks apart, rolling to the side and for a moment there is silence, the music distant, the world distant until it’s not anymore, until the world seems too close and the air too heavy, not one breeze to refresh it. Lily thinks of opening the window—it’s already opened, the wind bringing the smell of the sea to the room—when she realizes it’s not the air that feels wrong.

It’s them. No, it’s him.

‘James,’ she calls, panic and fear trembling her voice, coldness spreading through her skin in a way that it should not be possible, not on this summer day.

She can hear him rising from the bed, grabbing his clothes.

‘Lily,’ he answers shortly, opening briefly the door and she can’t see his face. ‘I know, it doesn’t mean anything.’

And that’s James Potter's first lie.

[v4mptsuki]

flirtations (i.matsukawa x reader)

genre: fluff

warnings: none

summary: matsukawa is crushing on the reader, and he’s oblivious to her feelings for him despite her being oikawa’s childhood best friend

a/n, this isn’t proofread, so i apologize if there’s any typos!

mattsun felt a headache coming on. for the past half hour of the third year's hangout, oikawa had been unable to shut up about l/n y/n. as the group of boys roamed the streets, coffee cups in hand, oikawa went on his fiftieth rant of the day about her.

"isn't she just the sweetest iwa-chan? remember when she helped us practice last summer; she's so helpful. we should invite y/n-chan the next time we hangout. would you like that mattsu?" oikawa asked with a smirk.

mattsun rolled his eyes, "would that shut you up about her?"

oikawa tsked and took a sip of his drink, "now, now mattsu don't get all riled up. i'm just complimenting a friend."

"friend, right," mattsun muttered sarcastically.

y/n had known oikawa for years; ever since they were kids. oikawa's mom went to school with y/n's family, so the two kids had grown up together. mattsun knew it was only a matter of time until they ended up dating, and he hated how upset it made him. he'd been harboring feelings for y/n since their first year at aoba johsai, and they hadn't faded at all.

two knocks echoed through the matsukawa house, and mattsun could hear his mom answering the door. he'd been bed bound since he came down with a cold that morning, and he felt miserable.

"oh yes! he's in his room, i'm sure he'll be glad to see you!" his mom said to whoever was at the door.

mattsun expected makki to be the one entering his room, probably with his schoolwork and questions of where he'd been. instead, it was y/n, oikawa's friend. he had several classes with her, which was why oikawa introduced them. y/n was anxious about high school, since most of her junior high friends went elsewhere, so oikawa thought it would be good for her to know someone.

the two had grown to be good friends through all their shared classes, and mattsun really enjoyed her company. she was really kind, but she teased oikawa just as much as iwaizumi did. she was also smart, and she always helped mattsun with his work when he got lost in class. so, it shouldn't have shocked him that much to see y/n standing in his doorway with his homework in her arms.

the surprising part though, was that she'd brought him food too. she had a grocery sack from the corner store in one hand, and it seemed to be full of snacks. in her other hand, she had not only the homework, but her notes from the day too.

"hi, i heard you're sick," y/n greeted, still standing in the doorway, like she was waiting for permission to walk in.

mattsun smiled at her, "yeah, c'mon in."

y/n took a seat on the edge of his bed, and mattsun scooted his legs a bit so she would have more room.

"i brought the homework, and i thought you might like to have my notes. i took two copies, so you can keep these. i always get stressed when i miss school, because i hate falling behind, so i hope this helps you rest easier," y/n stated, a small smile on her face.

mattsun swore that in that moment he could feel himself falling for her. he'd thought she was pretty from the moment he laid eyes on her, and ever since oikawa introduced them, he'd grown fond of her personality too. it was then though, that he truly fell. the nonchalant way she cared about him, like it was nothing but the expected, made mattsun so incredibly happy.

"oh! i also brought you this," y/n added excitedly, placing the grocery bag gently on the bed.

mattsun sat up a bit, and y/n handed him the bag. inside was all his favorites. his favorite chips, candy, drink, and a carefully packaged cup of soup. the soup was even still warm, letting mattsun know she'd grabbed it on her way to his house.

"how did you know these are my favorites?" mattsun asked as he looked up at her, his eyes wide with delight.

"i asked oikawa. he said he asked your friend makki," y/n replied, clearly proud of herself for being so attentive.

"this is like the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. thank you y/n," mattsun said, making y/n duck her head bashfully.

"oh quit it, you're sick, i'm just helping it be less awful. anyways, do you want me to go over the notes with you? if you're tired i can go, but i just thought i'd offer," y/n said, trailing off near the end.

mattsun nodded quickly, a bit too eager to get her to stay.

"we can go over the notes! it'll probably, um, help me learn it better."

ever since that day, mattsun had been hopelessly devoted to her. every love confession that had come his way he'd denied, holding out hope that maybe, just maybe, y/n could like him back. oikawa had never helped his pining though. as the group of them had gotten older, oikawa had grown into a flirt, with y/n being his primary target. every day at practice, it was incessant, and it drove mattsun mad.

"this one's for you y/n-chan!" oikawa exclaimed with a wink in her direction before he served the ball flawlessly to the other side of the court during a mock game.

mattsun could hear y/n's laugh at his antics, and it just made him more sullen. as the day's practice wrapped up, y/n was quick to rush over to the boys.

"that was great guys. you really are improving a lot," she said with a bright smile.

"thank you! you're our number one cheerleader y/n," makki teased, throwing an arm over her shoulders and ruffling her hair.

y/n ducked out of his grasp and patted her hair down with a dramatic scowl.

"hands off my hair makki! that's why mattsu is my favorite," she teased, poking her tongue out before leaning into mattsun's side.

"you played great today too," she said, her voice lower, like the comment was just for him.

mattsun felt himself stiffen, suddenly unable to think of anything clever to say.

"oh, uh, thank you."

"y/n-chan!" oikawa called out as he exited the locker room, already changed out of his gym clothes.

y/n giggled, "see you around mattsu," she said before walking over to greet oikawa.

makki whistled once y/n had walked far off enough, and he clapped his friend on the shoulder.

"pussy," was all he said to mattsun, who just sighed.

"up your ass makki."

"toru i'm an idiot!" y/n exclaimed, flopping back on her best friend's bed.

he just laughed, and took a seat next to her.

"what else is new?"

y/n huffed and leaned over to shove him.

"not helping asshole."

"sorry, sorry, it's just hilarious how oblivious he is," oikawa said.

y/n nodded in agreement, and moved her head to rest in oikawa's lap.

"it's awful isn't it? i just don't know what to do. i try to talk to him, but he always seems pained to be around me. promise he doesn't hate me?" y/n asked, looking up at her friend.

"how could he hate you? precious little y/n-chan," oikawa teased, reaching down to pinch her cheeks.

she grumbled again and swatted his hand away.

"how do i get him to confess?" she wondered aloud.

"what if we made him jealous," oikawa suggested with a sly smirk.

y/n pursed her lips in thought, before an equally sly smile spread on her face. mattsun always did seem particularly irritated by her and oikawa's antics. besides, a jealous confession did sound pretty appealing to y/n.

"i'm down if you are toru," y/n said.

"perfect! so what will our story be? should i tell the boys you broke down in tears as you confessed your love for me?"

y/n grimaced, "absolutely not. i still want him to know i'm single dumbass. maybe just amp up the flirting tomorrow, and i'll dress extra cute."

"looking forward to it darling," oikawa said with a wink, making y/n roll her eyes.

the next day at practice, oikawa was insufferable. if his normal flirtations were a 7/10 on the mattsun-annoyance scale, this had raised it to at least an 11/10. y/n had entered practice in her cutest variant of the school uniform, and oikawa was quick to offer her his sweatshirt. he even helped her put it on, making mattsun glare at the pair from across the gym.

y/n sat on the bench close to the court, and oikawa shot a flirty remark at her after every cool move he pulled. every time he did, y/n would giggle and blush, and it made mattsun want to rip his hair out.

"my head is literally going to explode," he muttered to makki during a water break, with a scowl heavy on his face.

makki stifled a laugh, "just make a move already."

mattsun's scowl deepened, "no way. she's totally head over heels for oikawa. see, look."

he gestured over to the pair, where oikawa had joined y/n on the bench. he had an arm draped over her shoulder, and their heads were leaned into each other as they spoke in hushed voices. y/n glanced up, and her eyes met mattsun's, but he was quick to look away.

"did you see that, he was looking at us," y/n whispered to oikawa, a grin on her face.

"he's totally pissed," oikawa added excitedly.

y/n giggled, "this might actually work!"

oikawa got up and restarted practice, and a very sullen mattsun walked back onto the court. y/n kept her gaze trained on him as he walked, unable to look away from the way the jersey hugged his muscles. he glanced back, and their eyes met again, but this time y/n was the first to look away, a blush rising on her face.

practice continued on, with oikawa flirting with y/n every other minute. mattsun just seemed to get more and more irritated, and then, practice ended. oikawa headed straight to the locker room, as he always did. he'd always hated the sweaty feeling after practice, so y/n would normally just wait for him to change so they could go. today though, y/n asked oikawa to shower there too, so she would have more time to talk to mattsun without him around making mattsun jealous.

"hi guys! you all did great today," y/n greeted as she walked over to the three third years.

iwa smiled at y/n in thanks, "yeah, we're improving a lot."

"totally! especially you mattsu, you looked great out there today," y/n said with a smile.

mattsun seemed to tense up, and y/n mentally cursed herself. all she wanted to do was let him know she liked him, but every time she did he always seemed to get so uncomfortable.

"thank you y/n," he replied with an awkward smile, making y/n's heart drop.

"yeah, of course," she said with her own small smile.

there was a moment of silence before iwa bid everyone goodbye. most of the other years had left, leaving just y/n, mattsun, makki, and oikawa in the locker room.

"i think i'm gonna head out too, bye guys!" makki said, hurrying out of the room before mattsun could say anything to him.

y/n pursed her lips at that, since usually the two walked home together.

"waiting for oikawa?" mattsun asked y/n once makki was out the door.

"i guess. i also kinda wanted to talk to you," she added, her voice growing quiet.

mattsun's eyes widened and his gaze shot up to look at her.

"what?"

"yeah, i uh, wanted to chat with you. you know, i really like your company," she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

mattsun didn't say anything back, he just stared at y/n with wide eyes. she felt a lump in her throat, but she bit back any emotions.

"sorry, i didn't mean to make this weird or anything," she added quickly.

mattsun blinked slowly, and then shook his head forcefully.

"no, no, not at all. i like spending time with you too. i just, i thought you and oikawa were like..." he trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud, but hoping y/n understood what he meant.

apparently she didn't, as her eyebrows scrunched up, "huh? what about me and toru?"

"nothing, i just..." mattsun took in a breath and shook his head, "nothing, never mind."

y/n frowned, but took a step closer to mattsun.

"what is it?" she asked, concern in her voice.

"i-"

mattsun wasn't sure what to say. y/n was standing barely a few inches away from him, and he was struggling to form a coherent thought. she tilted her head up to look him in the eyes, and he felt his face growing hot.

"you know i'm not dating toru," she said, her voice soft.

mattsun swallowed, "oh, really? i guess i just assumed..."

"well you assumed wrong," y/n replied, keeping her eyes on mattsun.

"oh," was all he could think to say, his mind too muddled for y/n's closeness.

she stayed there for a second longer, before she cleared her throat and took a step away.

"well yeah, we aren't dating. i don't plan on dating him either, he's too high maintenance for me," y/n joked, although she sounded a bit down.

mattsun just nodded, unsure of what to say. inside, he was beating himself up. she was right there, but he just couldn't do anything. she made him so nervous he lost all his confidence. it was basically torture, being so close to her, but unable to make a move.

"anyways, i think toru should be done by now. i guess i'll just wait for him outside," y/n flashed mattsun a small smile before swiftly heading for the gym doors.

"wait!" mattsun exclaimed before he could think better of it.

y/n turned around, her eyebrows raised.

"what's up?"

"um, fuck, don't go yet. i guess now's a good time to tell you i, uh, i really like you."

once mattsun started his confession, he couldn't stop the word vomit that followed.

"ever since you brought me the notes when i was sick during first year, i thought you were the nicest girl ever. i still do, by the way, you're just so sweet and pretty, and fuck i'm rambling. i just, i like you a lot, and i thought you should know. i guess."

mattsun felt his face heating up as he awkwardly went to scratch the back of his neck. y/n just stood there, a shocked look on her face. mattsun was just about to stutter out an apology for making things weird, when she rushed forwards. her arms wrapped around mattsun's neck, and she let out a relieved laugh.

"oh thank goodness! i was so worried you didn't like me that way, it was killing me you idiot!" y/n breathed out, her face pressing into mattsun's neck.

"wait what?" mattsun replied, pulling away from her embrace.

she moved one of her arms to flick his forehead, a grin taking over her face.

"i like you too!" she exclaimed.

mattsun broke into a grin of his own, and just as he was about to pull y/n back into him, oikawa exited the locker room. his hair was dripping wet, implying he'd taken a shower, and mattsun could've smacked him across the face.

"toru guess what!" y/n called out as oikawa headed over to the pair.

based on oikawa's smirk, he already knew what she was going to say.

"what is it y/n darling?"

"he likes me back," she replied smugly, stretching on her tip toes to kiss mattsun's cheek.

"yes i do," mattsun muttered, just for y/n to hear, making her smile stretch even wider.

[softluci]

aggressive affection (round two!)

[ part two of this, with the now dateables. guess which one(s) i have a crush on—i am actually so embarrassed because i'm getting shy trying to write this, but it's a must that i put this into the universe. if you want to read this first, rather than the one with the brothers, here is the preface: ] 

i’m not sure if this is something unique to younger people, but i am one hundred percent sure that younger people do it a lot, just going off of the behavior of my friends and i. (i’m gonna tell you now that this isn’t entirely sfw, so minors dni please and thank u)

but i’ve found that it’s pretty common for friends to be, like, aggressively affectionate with one another, for lack of a better phrase. if not aggressively affectionate, then just really flirtatious, often for no reason, and it is still meant entirely in a platonic sense. some examples of this that i have experienced include, but are not limited to:

“i’m gonna eat you,” “do u wanna make out,” “just remember, no matter WHAT happens, i will ALWAYS wanna make out with you,”  “i have literally wanted to fuck all of you at some point,” “let’s have sex,” “stfu before i kiss you,” [points to lap] “is this seat taken?” “every day i’m like, ‘wow, [name] is so cool, we should make out,’” and so on and so forth. 

so you can imagine the fun i’m about to have.

dia

you—why did you—look. 

dia is a very nice, social guy; very smiley, you guys get along great, that's great! 

he is still very much a demon (the prince of them, in fact)  and very much not one of your friends from the human world, no matter how much he wants you to treat him as such. 

you should've known better. 

he'd invited you to the castle for tea and a nice chat—a regular occurrence between the two of you so that he could see how you were doing, how the program was going, talk about lucifer, play catch up; nothing out of the ordinary. 

he complimented you on your performance thus far, telling you about how well you've done—which was just standard kindness—so would you like to explain to the class why your immediate response was, “so kiss me then,” ? 

he was totally fine with it, but he was also very confused, so it was only fair that he pulled you into his lap to get a better understanding of what you meant. if you do the math, it adds up, i swear. 

luckily, you don’t even have to explain yourself with this one because it seems like he already knows. this is good because, given his proximity to you at that moment, you wouldn’t have done a good job explaining yourself anyway. 

“is this how you talk to your human friends?” 

it was a simple question, with a simple answer, it’s just that you were nose-to-nose, and his eyes were hooded all of a sudden and his hand was cupping the side of your face so, naturally, you had some difficulty forming words—fortunately, you managed to nod instead of embarrassing yourself by trying to talk. 

“and do they ever do what you ask?” 

again, it would’ve been foolish of you to try and speak, so you just shook your head. you were doing a surprisingly nice job of maintaining your dignity, well done! this is nice compensation for the fact that you seemed to forget you were dealing with the demon of demons, but he was kind enough to remind you—

“well, i’m not one of them, so i’ll do as you say. you don’t mind, right?” 

do you have a saving grace with this man? meh. he doesn’t want to do anything in front of the others, but he can literally go somewhere private with you under the guise of wanting to talk. it’s not like anyone is gonna tell him he can’t. 

barbatos

you don’t make any sense. you watched black butler know that he’s the scariest person in the devildom, why did you think you could do this? he might be a menace not too far underneath that professional exterior, but that doesn’t mean you have to fuck around and find out. or maybe that’s exactly what that means. 

all he did was bring you tea. he saw you sitting in the castle’s library doing schoolwork—dia offered to let you study there to enjoy some quiet that you wouldn’t have gotten at the house, and because you aren’t one to forgo such a kind gesture, you accepted. 

he set it down on the table in front of you, much to your surprise. 

“oh, thank you! you really didn’t have to,” you said, looking up at him from your seat. 

“nonsense,” he started, smiling softly, “you’ve been working hard.”

you, for whatever reason, took this as an opportunity to pretend barbatos was one of your human friends. 

“you shouldn’t say that unless—” 

that’s all he let you say. what you were going to say was, “you shouldn’t say that unless you plan on making out with me.” trouble was, he already knew that. you must have forgotten who you were talking to. 

before you could finish, his hand was under your chin, and his other hand was resting on the arm of your chair, effectively caging you in, and effectively keeping you from looking away. 

his smile went from benevolent to teasing meaning you got the menace you wanted, as he asked,“unless what?” 

he took more joy in your flustered state than he would care to admit, but he’d recently learned that you had an affinity for trying to catch people off guard, so he thought it was more than fair to do the same to you—as a treat, for him. 

that said, it’s no surprise that you had to endure relentless teasing, him asking you what you wanted from him, why you were so shy all of a sudden, telling you not to be shy and that he wouldn’t bite, unless you asked nicely. what? he liked how warm your face made his hand. 

“what’s wrong? don’t you want to kiss me?” 

okay. that was the last straw. you never even hinted that you didn’t wanna kiss this man, and here he was, making assumptions about you as a person. 

you, in your infinite confidence and assertive nature, said, “i—i never said i didn’t want to.” 

and you know what, you really showed him because even though he laughed at you, even though he made a show of taking off his gloves, even though his hand moved from the arm of the chair to your thigh—even though he took every necessary step to remind you that he was in control, you still got what you wanted. and then some. 

your only saving grace with him is the fact that he breathes professionalism and he’s always busy. when he isn’t busy, however. well. 

simeon

you goddamn heathen. oh, you fucking freak. simeon has a reputation to uphold, you can’t treat him like one of your heathen little human friends, which means you can’t just say whatever pops into your head when you’re talking to him, which means—you should really learn to take compliments normally. 

simeon is a nice guy, and he likes you a lot, so it only makes sense that he compliments you whenever he can. in other words, he dishes out anywhere from one to four compliments whenever the two of you are together. he can’t help it, he just thinks you’re neat! 

the fact remains that you chose to be a menace to the angelic persona he is supposed to project at all times. 

it was a simple compliment. he enjoyed spending time with you, and he told you so, just telling you that your presence was a pleasant one. 

your response was actually normal—it was a simple, “i like being around you too!” 

in a way, this is simeon’s fault, if you think about it. he could’ve just said, “thank you,” and kept it pushing, but instead, he said, “really?”

why would he think you didn’t like being around him? that was unacceptable, so, really, what choice did you have but to give him the most solid affirmation he would ever hear? 

“of course! every day, i’m like, ‘wow, simeon is so cool, we should make out,’ you know?”

what you were expecting was for him to blush and laugh it off, call you silly, and maybe pat your head for good measure. that was a reasonable thing to expect, albeit that is not even close to what you got. 

since you were being so casual, simeon figured that he could—that he should—do the same. it was only natural that he stop being a model angel for a little while, right? 

oh, don’t look so flustered, it’s not like you’ve never been backed against a wall before. how many times has a demon done this to you? it’s only fair that an angel gets a turn. 

“actually,” he started, lips already brushing against yours as he spoke. “i don’t know. would you mind showing me?” 

if you are, understandably, too flustered to function, he will gladly make the first move, don’t worry, but if his first move happens to be taking your bottom lip between his teeth instead of kissing you, well… there’s not much you’re going to be able to do about it, so you may as well just enjoy. 

i mean, you tempt an angel, and you get what’s coming to you—that’s all there is to it. 

similar to barbatos, you will only be safe from this man when he’s in public or around a few of the others. if you’re alone with him and in private, he’s already under the impression that he doesn’t have to be an angel with you, so find joy in the side of him you’ve uncovered. 

solomon (derogatory)

you two deserve each other, really. both of you are public enemies. he was just as terrible as your friends from back home, except he was always walking the line like a tightrope. he was always on the verge of making his teasing into a reality, and to be quite frank, you were starting to get fed up—and you were right to be. but this is what you get for being a dirty solomon enjoyer. 

all of his empty threats and demands about kissing you, his lingering touches on your lower back or waist or thighs, his dumb little smirks on his dumb little face, his occasional bites wherever you were vulnerable, his habit of putting his hand around your throat for fun (or so he says)—those all came with the territory. he hasn’t had a friend to tease in ages (he can’t do it to asmo without it immediately turning into an hour long event), so you get it all at once, congratulations! 

don’t look so upset, he’s an attractive guy, so this is still a win. 

now, all of that said, you were hard pressed to find an opportunity to catch this man off guard, but once you got your chance, you latched onto it exactly as you should’ve. 

the two of you were in his room, studying (“studying”) for an upcoming exam. he was sitting in a chair, and you were on his bed a few feet away. you needed something from your bag, which was on the side of his chair farthest from you, so you decided to walk by him to get it, like a normal person. look at you, acting regular for once.

evidently, that was a mistake. as soon as you were in front of him, his hand was on your waist, and you were pulled into his lap. 

you turned to look at him, eyebrows raised and everything, and he seemed to have an explanation ready to go, paired with one of his signature smiles.

“i was wondering when i’d get to bother you again.” 

this was your chance—probably the only chance you’d get in a while, so it made sense that you took this opportunity to be heinous, even though you were in a rather compromising position. 

“either sleep with me or leave me alone.”

you did it. for a moment, you had him. the surprise plastered on his face was enough gratification to last you a lifetime, however fleeting it may have been. unfortunately for you, he had a wonderful recovery time. 

before you could fully enjoy the look on his face, it was gone, replaced by a more sinister expression that almost made you regret your decision. 

for what it’s worth, you didn’t have to see that menacing look of his for long because he turned you away from him to press your back into his chest. if that makes you feel any better. 

“i’ll never leave you alone,” he hummed, teeth already grazing your neck. his hand moved from your waist to your inner thigh, slowly separating one leg from the other. “but you already knew that.” 

you didn’t have a saving grace with this man before, and now you never will.

[worldviewcast]

The Origin of Worldview

So this is going to be a semi-personal, but also a semi-explanation post about alot of the background info regarding Worldview.  Yes it’ll be a long somewhat boring wall of text for many of you, but to ME it’s words I feel need to be said and it would mean the absolute world to me if people would take the time to hear me out.  Even if its only gonna be the five of you that continue on after this. Anyway...

Worldview technically started forming in my mind when I was probably about fifteen. (For reference, at the time of writing this, I’m about half a year to thirty-one) I was really into doing comics, I had done probably a hundred pages of a really dumb fantasy comic I came up with when I was TWELVE, a Sonic fancomic, and every morning on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I would upload my micron inked and colored pencil story about some DnD characters into the school scanner to post on Drunkduck which is probably all still there today. Adventure’s Guild is missed in my heart, for sure.  But in between looking for my first job, the constant writing and doodling I was doing, and my schoolwork I was tossing another idea around in my head. A really DUMB idea, cuz ya know I was FIFTEEN. And I wanted to call it ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’. At the time I was influence by all the dumb anime I was watching and my best friend at the time who always wore black and stood about two feet over me. I don’t know if he’ll ever read this, but trust me if he knew I was talking about this he would recognize this story right away.  Well. My first job came around, along with my post secondary college work, and then a tech school I paid for, and.....life really started to get in the way of development. I was more focused on drawing Adventures Guild and other doodles for a long time, and soon enough taking care of my daughter took precedence over everything, and then I started sewing, and doing conventions....and the idea of ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’ was just stuck in the back of my head. Sitting. Waiting. Forming slowly as it waited for its existence - its time in the sun.  And at some point I decided I wanted Android/Robotic like characters too...some of my FAVORITE series are Kikaider : The Animation and Chobits (the books, not the infants show they try to pass a a fully written anime) - things like that. So I KNEW long before Worldview had a proper name I would be writing robot characters with a twist. But I couldn’t figure out what that twist was, what would make it work. The whole idea was still....building. It needed a push.  Right around the time My Hero Academia came around everyone with a creative mind seemed to be suddenly struck with a similar idea - what if unique powers WEREN’T so unique in a world?  This is fairly common now, but at the start of MHA I remember finding it weird that suddenly every half the new shows out had a whole population of super powered badasses in a world where living daily life with it was more the norm than the exception.  And I remember finding it REALLY weird this all came out the same time I evolving a similar idea for my own thing.... I wish I could prove I was evolving this ideas before I saw em but I can’t. I have a much deeper theory about the evolution of cultural art and how influences drive creative minds to similar conclusions but that’s a LONG mental dive for another day.  ANYHOW.

So my original idea in ‘My Big Brother the Ninja’ was the Ninja would be the weird super power in the normal world.  NOW I wanted the NINJA to be the ‘normal’ one...and the younger sister would be the WEIRD one because she DIDN’T have some sort of power or ability.  I fell in love with this new dynamic and now things were REALLY starting to come together in my mind, what kind of powers were people gonna have, just HOW mundane was it gonna be, how many fantasy elements did I want to have?  Because I already KNEW another element I really wanted to include was modern day Paladins - and YES I WILL be covering modern-day style Paladins in Worldview proper, but this meant the universe needed a Deity system, a hierarchy or pantheon.  And the world just started to grow....but something was still MISSING, the binding, the elements of what all I wanted to do -  Aaaaaaaaaand then came UNDERTALE.  And yes this ENTIRE long post is just me mini ranting about how WV came to be so people can TRULY understand just HOW much is inside MY universe so we can stop tagging it as part of the UT Multiverse please and thank you - it’s not that I don’t UNDERSTAND the confusion, but here is your ultimate ‘for the record’ post regarding mine and @little-noko ‘s personal frustrations. Undertale was obviously a HUGE part of pop culture, personal experiences, my life, MANY of my readers lives, I GET why the emotional connection is there and why its the first thing that comes to mind - but the ONLY part I truly was fascinated by with Undertale was the way the Souls were.  PHYSICAL Souls - an actual magical entity that represented a person - THIS idea.  This was my missing piece.  To say artists get inspiration from other artists is beyond an understatement - even Sans and Papyrus are references to Helvetica, right? If not references, inspired by, or ‘great minds think alike’, whatever your argument there....its not uncommon.  And Souls being PHYSICAL was the element I wanted to play with - the idea I wanted to expand on, and so much more I want to go into detail about but don’t want to go into spoilers yet so I’m not going to - and the absolute CRUX of my frustrations when dealing with ‘WV is just UT with different characters’.  Worldview has.....humans. Only humans, divided into four race. Mechanoid. Masic. Skeleton. Metazoan. (The last one exclusively because I wanted an excuse to draw cute cat girls, so sue me)  A pantheon of Gods. It’s own world map. Special BIOLOGY that I have developed to work specifically with the races I have built. Ability trees (diagram to come, don’t worry, we’re just still working out the kinks).  It’s own countries, nationalities, and even it’s own tangible form of afterlife which I blame watching WAY too much Supernatural on but HEY Reapers are freaking COOL man.  It’s absolutely gut wrenching painful to have people argue with me over a world that I have nurtured and slowly tended to for a good fifteen years...now that it finally, FINALLY gets a chance to exist and be worked on....I feel like the one binding element I finally found and played with and tried to expand on is the ONLY element that people care about. As if absolutely EVERY other element that I want to show just - doesn’t EXIST. We started with Finch because its a good transition from the old projects to the new and it’s the earliest event in the timeline - nothing more than that. But I’m almost starting to feel like that was a mistake because it’s TOO familiar.  There’s no going back now, and thats fine. But it does make me anxious to move on to the next ‘chapter’ we’ll be delving into.  MAN.  I hope that helps clarify a few things.  I love answering questions (those that I can) about  WV...so my ask box is always open.  For those that made it, thanks for listening. :) 

[musings-from-mars]

I request some Weiss finding out she's on the spectrum after Ruby and Penny... open her eyes so to speak.

((Okay but neurodivergent!Weiss is so underrated and needs more love, thank you for requesting this!

Btw, instead of saying “on the spectrum,” it’s totally cool to just use “autistic,” or “neurodivergent” to be more broad. I’m not sure of the consensus among the wider autistic community, but “on the spectrum” has always felt like a euphemism to me, when there’s no need to dance around the word “autistic,” so feel free to use it! 😊 ))

Weiss wasn’t sure how she’d managed to get roped into hanging out with Ruby and Penny in the Beacon library so often, but with every passing “study date,” she’d become content with just sitting and listening to the two girls talk while Weiss read from a textbook or wrote an essay. Their chatter was great background noise, as Weiss had adapted to living with the rest of Team RWBY by managing to do everything with some sort of chaos going on in the background, and that included schoolwork. She didn’t really engage in conversation during these study dates, as Ruby and Penny were content with her company while Weiss did her best to be academically productive with her time.

Today, however, the topic of conversation tugged at Weiss’ attention. There was usually an intense focus that would overtake her when it came to studying, like she was viewing her crystal clear text book on a blurry background and nothing could breach her attention. But Ruby had said something to Penny that made Weiss’ ears burn:

“Oh yeah, I do that all the time!” Ruby said. “Like, it’s super embarrassing sometimes, but if some asks me about my weapon I’m like BLAGH! Word vomit.”

“Just like how I infodump about bugs,” Penny said with a bright smile. “They are so interesting, especially the kind that fly or are bioluminescent.”

“Yeah! I remember that time you infodumped about fireflies for, like, thirty minutes!”

Weiss looked up from her book and listened to the two for a moment. Infodump? “What’s infodump?”

Ruby turned, her silver eyes lighting up when she heard Weiss chime in. “Oh! It’s a thing that’s common with neurodivergent brains.” She made her point by pointing to her temple. “Something that captures your interest so much that you get the urge to just go on and on about it.”

“Neurodivergent?” Weiss asked.

“Like how I’m autistic,” Penny said with a nod, “And Ruby is autistic and has ADHD.”

“And dyslexia,” Ruby added.

“And dyslexia,” Penny agreed.

“My brain has trouble being a brain sometimes,” Ruby said with a grin.

“Ohhh, okay,” Weiss said with a nod, understanding a bit better now. “So when you, like, talk about Crescent Rose or fairy tales for a really long time, that’s you infodumping?”

“Yeah!” Ruby said. “It’s fun, like...writing an essay, just...saying it as it comes to you.”

Weiss glanced at her dust theory essay to her right. Or, well, her “outline” for her dust theory essay. It was more of just a piece of notebook paper for her to put word vomit while she...

Hang on...

“I think I’ve done that, actually,” Weiss admitted, remembering back to a couple days ago. She had just finished reading a book about dust theory. Not a required reading, but something she just picked up for fun (yes, she is a nerd and Weiss was content with that). Since she knew Pyrrha was super interested in dust theory as well, Weiss went to her and talked all about the book. Pyrrha had listened kindly and bounced questions off of Weiss, but Weiss had pretty much dominated that interaction. That realization really hit her when, after she had finished talking, Pyrrha had giggled and said, “Wow, when you get interested in something, you dive in 100-percent, huh? That’s cool!”

Weiss explained that example, and Ruby’s eyes seemed to sparkle under the library’s fluorescent lights. “That’s exactly what it’s like! Let’s see, uhm...okay, when you’re doing something that you really like, do you focus on it for hours on end without thinking about anything else?”

“Well, yeah,” Weiss said, never having thought much of it. She was just doing that a minute ago, of course.

“But like, hours,” Ruby reiterated. “And you focus so hard you forget to eat or drink or go to the bathroom because you literally can’t think about or do anything else.”

“I mean, doesn’t everyone do that?” Weiss asked with an uncertain shrug.

Ruby simply stared at her in response, her jaw hanging open.

“That actually is uncommon,” Penny chimed in, missing the confused tension that radiated off of Ruby. “What you are experiencing is called hyperfixation. It occurs when your brain locks onto a single source of mental stimulation that triggers your brain’s chemical reward system and maintains that focus for as long as it can in an effort to continue to reap rewards in the form of firing neurotransmitters. This can cause your conscious mind to miss other common bodily functions and signals, like hunger or the need to urinate.”

“You know a whole lot about things you can’t do yourself, Penny,” Ruby said, both as an observation and a compliment.

“Thank you! The organic person’s mind is complicated and fascinating!”

“Yeah...” Weiss agreed, absorbing all the information Penny had just given her, all about neurotransmitters and whatnot. “I do those things a lot, actually.”

Ruby then slammed her hands palms-down on to the table and trained her eyes on Weiss’ with a serious determination. “Does your brain’s immediate response to any form of rejection include an all-encompassing feeling of dread and a blazing hatred of your own existence that makes you want to punch the nearest wall and scream out the nearest window until your heart and/or voice gives out?”

Weiss stared back at Ruby with wide eyes. “I, uhh...” Then two seconds later, she had an answer, and her shoulders dropped along with her face, which settled into a begrudged but well-worn scowl directed in no particular direction. “Yeah. That was my entire childhood.”

“That’s depressing!” Penny said. “And also another common symptom called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.”

“It’s like regular rejection,” Ruby said. “Except more sensitive, and dysphoric!”

“I got that,” Weiss said with an understanding nod. “So...what I’m hearing is...I should see a professional.”

“Wrestler?” Ruby asked.

“Mental health professional,” Weiss corrected.

“Oh nice! Maybe you can be brain cousins with us!”

“Brain cousins?”

“ADHD and autism overlap in many ways and are often comorbid,” Penny noted. “But that does not actually make us related.”

“That would be super weird!” Ruby added.

Weiss looked down and nodded. “Okay. You two have given me a lot to think about.”

“Sorry about that,” Ruby said sympathetically.

“No, in a good way,” Weiss assured her.

“Oh!”

[mxvladdy]

THE WAY YOU FILLED YOUR FIRST REQUEST SHOOK ME?!?!?!? YOU BLESSED US!? Would you mind also imagining how Mammon, Luci and Belphie would feel with a MC who's guarded with themselves and their feelings to avoid hurt, so they try to keep these brothers at a friendly arm's length as they don't believe the brothers don't really care about them? It would make me so happy, thank you so much!

EEEEK! Sorry for the wait. It took forever and a day to get enough time to seat uninterrupted and then try to edit ;.;

I hope you like it! Apologies if I didn’t get the prompt just right!

Mammon

He didn’t hide his disdain for his human protection duty when you first met. The fact that you kept him at an arm's length was a devil’s blessing. Good! He is a busy demon after all, he doesn’t have time for some human. At first.

Then he caught the feels and it’s all downhill for him at his ‘cool devil’ act. Not that you ever NOTICED.

He tries to flirt with you. Before you, he thought he was good at it too.

He’s never had someone so civil with his advances. You smile and laugh politely at whatever complement he throws at you. You might even give him a few back in a teasing, but clearly friendly manner.

You stress it heavily whenever he comes on too heavy with his advances. You stamp down whatever feelings he evokes and try to keep your line clean and precise in the shifting sand of your relationship.

He takes you out one evening after school, determined to get an actual answer from you over some made up snack he lied about. You don’t think anything of it, happy for an excuse to hang out. You walk and talk, not taking notice of his steadily reddening face as he keeps making swipes at your hand each time it brushes his.

You make an off-handed (get it) remark about the closeness and offer to walk behind this was bothering him.

He is miffed and throws out all semblance of “coolness”. Just flat out confess. Face flaming hot from embarrassment and sweaty palms now shoved into his jacket.

It was a blink and you’d miss it kind of moment. Mammon’s cheeks start to heat gradually. A staunch look of panic growing behind his eyes.

The words just slip off his tongue. His lips forming a sentence you were dreading. You didn’t quite catch it all; his declaration lost in the wind of the open market. You try to catch his gaze, to make him repeat himself clearly, for what purpose you didn’t know. You don't particularly want to hear it again, yet it would give you time to compose some kind of response.

He refuses to look at you. No matter which way you bob and weave beneath him, he dances around you. His face always looking in the opposite direction of yours. His gaze permanently pointing at his feet. The uneven cobblestone beneath his scuffed boots was suddenly very interesting it seemed. "I'm sorry? I didn't catch that." You ask once more, grabbing on to the crook of his elbow.

He buries himself deeper into the flipped collar of his coat and whispers it again. "I-I like ya, ok? Like like like ya know?" He stumbles over his thoughts.

Now how in the hells were you supposed to dodge this? It had been easier to evade his blatant affections when even he wasn't admitting to them. "No, you don't." You step away with a dry chuckle. "Don't be silly." You back away shaking your head in denial. You were sure Mammon could feel your heart rate picking up. You need some space, more space than the street could give you. Somewhere away from your tall, sweet, white-haired problem.

"Oi!" He makes a grab for you as you turn to flee. He spins you around leaning down to meet with you face to face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"We are friends Mammon," You try to wiggle out of his strong, yet gentle grip. "You're just mixing up the feelings." Bullshit. With him touching you, your joint pack acted like an amplifier. You very much felt what he thought of you. The yearning from his newfound mental clarity mixes with the panic of your rejection. It makes a bittersweet taste bloom in your mouth, so hopefully yet reserved.

He was not so lucky. Your feelings felt like ash on his tongue, a sour tang of fear and self-doubt building on his sense. You were afraid of the inevitable, or what you presumed to be the inevitable.

  You were supposed to be friends then disappear forever once the school year was up. Him, down here, and you back to being just another nameless soul in the human realm. No need to get the storyline all tangled. "Hey-hey," Mammon speaks in a rush. "It ain't like that, really." He coos shuffling you closer till you are wrapped tightly in his soft leather jacket. He pours more of himself into the pack, opening himself up in ways he never thought capable of from his demonic form.

"I'm stupid." You speak into his chest. The warm reassurance of his unspoken pledge soothing you. It lessens the tight feeling of uncertainty that you had grown accustomed to.

"Ah- now, ain't that supposed to be my job?" The taste in his mouth dissipates slightly as you let out an indignant huff. He flinches as you poke his side hard between his rib cage.

"Told you to stop talking down on yourself Mammon."

The demon hums noncommittally keeping you close. He rocks you both from side to side, oblivious to the throngs of other pedestrians forced to walk around you two. "Guess I forgot. Maybe you could remind me? O-on a date?"

He smiles down at the little sliver of your face and eyes peeking up from the darkness of his jacket. He could damn near feel the smile trying to break from your forced scowl. "Just one?"

"Heh- don't bet on it."

Lucifer

Welcome to the ultimate game of pleasantry chicken. The two of you know this dance by heart, but your footwork isn't synching up.

Lucifer is trying to keep this whole debacle as professional as possible. You are an esteemed guest and pact holder for all of his brothers and himself. This should be business as usual. He totally has his emotions and growing frustration at your lack of interest in him in check.

Yup. He's fine. He's great; glad you two have such an unspoken understanding of your standing in his company and in the house. The same book, same chapter, same bloody page.

You are a good friend. Just. A. Very. Good. Friend.

He breaks first. Not that he will admit it. But the weekly coffee breaks become a bi-daily thing as he tries to court you. He draws these evenings out now. Have you finished your schoolwork? No, allow me to tutor you. Perhaps you would like to listen to this new vinyl with me tonight? It is a complete demon rendition of Wagner's Die Meistersinger. A classic, you’ll love it.

You take it all in stride. Thanking him innocently enough and going along with it. You buffer every little turn of phrase and slightly off-color hint of what he wanted from you with grace. So tactfully done he begins to doubt himself. You couldn’t be misconstruing his intentions right? He hasn’t doubted himself like this in a long time.

Diavolo catches on quickly to the kicked puppy look Lucifer tots around in your presence. He’ll tease, but try to help. He’s a decent wingman truth be told. “How has Lucifer been treating you? I haven’t seen him this happy in ages. He is a great friend to have, yes?” Kinda backfires when you agree that he is indeed a good friend. Oops.

He’ll crack one night over a glass (or bottle) of something strong he pulled from his study. You had slipped into his room unannounced asking for a quiet place to read before bed.  The interruption to his musings leads to him running his mouth and pile driving his pride into the ground.

He can’t say no to you anymore. He really should. You were hell bent on keeping him at an arm's length, so he should too. Lucifer watches you like a hawk from behind his desk. His ungloved fingers swirling the dregs of his drink. The cognac inside of it looking up at him, his scowl reflecting in the rich red liquor. Don’t judge me. He scoffs at himself, was he that far gone that he was arguing with his glassware? Should have switched to the bottle hours ago.

“Luci?” You say again waving a hand in his face. “You forget to sleep again this week?” Your smile was warm, a little twinkle in your eye drawing a heat to his collar that had nothing to do with the spirits. You sit on the edge of his desk in your sleepwear. The baggy shirt and sweats reeked of his brothers.

“No.” He lies pushing his desk chair away. “Did you need something?”

You shrug hopping off the desk. “Not really. Wasn’t feeling movie night. You ok if I hang out here? It’s nice and quiet.” You slink off to the couch in front of the fire before he could answer.

“You could not do this in your room?” Lucifer snips. He tosses back the rest of his drink and rises to his feet. He grimaces at the burn spreading across his throat. “I’m sure it is quiet in there too.” He catches your eyes looking over the back of the lounge. While everything lower than the bridge of your nose was blocked by the black velvet he could feel the frown growing on your face.

“Well, yes. But I still want some friendly company. Just not rowdy company, I thought you wouldn’t mind...”  

Devils. There was that word again. "You assume to know me?" He cannot hide the venom lacing his words. The liquor had dulled his senses enough that he could not hide his rancor.

“I’m-” You leave the chair coming around it to give him your full attention. This wasn’t like him. Not anymore at least. But you were used to the odd mood swings that plagued your companions. "I don’t assume anything about you Luci. But if you want to talk-"

“I don’t want to have some idle friendly chit chat.” He could feel the tantrum coming. “Have I not proven myself capable of-” His jaw snaps shut with an audible click that echoes across the spacious chamber.

“Of?”

A noticeable blush grows on his pale cheeks. “More.” He sighs deeply, he feels light-headed at the admission. Whether it was from the drinks or from going against his nature and swallowing his pride he couldn’t tell. “Am I not enough to be more than a friend to you?”

That takes you by surprise. You had speculated that he harbored feelings for you. Diavolo all but cementing the idea in your mind. But, this was Lucifer. It felt like just yesterday you were at each other's throats, before he recognized you as something other than a threat to his family. You wanted to respect that little bit of trust he had given you. “It’s not like I never thought about it.”

“But?” He perks up slightly hearing the unspoken word in your inflection. He could see your apprehension yet there was a shimmer of something else underneath. Something he could work with.

“I was- I am scared.”

“Finally, a reasonable response from being around demons.” Lucifer snorts.

“Hey! You know that’s not what I mean.”

“No, I don’t. Explain it to me.” He invades your space waiting to see what you would do. Run or stay. He would have his answer either way. You don’t move, instead, you wrap your arms around yourself. Guarding yourself yet standing firm. One of the many reasons why he admired you.

“I feel like we just became friends. I didn’t think you felt the same and I didn’t want to mess this all up.” You confess. “I just thought it would be easier this way.”

Lucifer absorbs your words quietly, nodding at the logic behind them. “Messes are not something I generally like true, but," He reaches for you, careful of your defensive stature to lead you back to the couch. “If you are willing to iron out the bumps with me I’d like to see what we can make of it.”

If it meant he could have you he would take as much time as you needed.

Belphegor

It takes him the longest to notice that you were trying to keep him at arm's length emotionally. It was hard for him to see at first since you still readily accepted his invitations to snuggle and hang out.

He thought he was very blatant with his desire for you and your affections. The head pats and evening is the planetarium or his attic.

The fact that he had apologized for that little murder mishap. He thought that was a big bright neon sign. Yet you always seemed to try to invite someone else along to chill or leave quickly after an hour or so. As much as he loved his twin and tolerated his other brothers he was trying to get you ALONE.

He starts trying to see you outside the house now too. Lunch in the cafeteria? Pffft. You are going to eat and nap with him in the courtyard. After School activities? Could you help him with some council stuff instead?

Yes, he will go out of his way to do work if you are involved.

You are still too closed off though. You act around him like you do around any of the other brothers and it drives him crazy. You are just so friendly and cordial with everyone. How come he is the only one that becomes a flushing mess now?

He becomes your second shadow, almost as bad as Mammon. You start to get an inkling of his intentions when he starts wanting to sleep in your bedroom at night instead of his or the attic. You let him but offer up the couch or split the bed with a pillow.

He snoops when he gets desperate. Did you like someone else? Was that why you were constantly acting like his advances were just him being overly friendly? He doesn’t find anything, you act like this around everyone else too.

He gives up. Stops interacting with you entirely. He is 99% sure he can sleep through the next century without being bothered. Maybe he’ll get over you by then.

“Belphie? You up here?” The demon in question opens a bleary eye to his locked door. He should stay quiet, leave you hanging. Give himself some vindictive pleasure in snubbing you.

“Hai~” He rises from his nest of blankets and pillows. “Hold on.” Unlocking the door he opens it ajar. You smile around the large stack of books and binders in your arms. “What is that?” Please don’t say homework.

“Work you’ve missed sulking up here.” You confirm his worst fear. “Satan and I thought we would spot you a bit though.” Belphegor watches you struggle for a second to pull a folded piece of paper out from the middle of the stack. “We got most of the answers done for you. Now you just have to fill the worksheets in with your handwriting.” You wave the paper expectantly.

Hearing his brother’s name makes him sour immediately. How long had you been hanging out with him now? “Thanks, leave them at the door then.” He goes to shut the door and return to his dreamless slumber but it’s blocked by your foot.

“Ouch.” You wince hopping back on one foot.

“Idiot! Are you hurt?” He wrenches the door open crouching down to take a look at your sock-covered foot.

“Nothing I can’t walk off. Though my arms are getting sore- weak human muscles an’ all.” You hint wiggling the stack in your arms. He takes the work this time, still eyeing your foot. “Relax, I’ve stubbed my toe with more force than that before.” You whisk by him, using his brief moment of distraction to slip by.

“Did I invite you in?” Belphegor eyes you with a frown. He kicks his door close and dumps the pile of papers on his already over-encumbered desk. Hmm. How many days had he missed?

You ignore him plopping down on the still warm sheets. “Nope!” You pop the ‘p’ with a grin. “But that has never stopped you from sneaking into my room. So fair trade all around.” You pat at the bed, clearing inviting him to join you. “Come on. I’ll help you finish that work then we can chill.”

Oh, now you want to hang out. He felt a rush of bitterness wash over him.  “Don’t you have something better to do?” If this keeps up he’ll need another nap, alone preferably. “Doesn’t Asmo need a shopping buddy or something?”

“What’s gotten you all worked up?” You frown, hurt by his accusatory tone.

Belphie shoots you a wounded look. "We never hang out anymore." He sulks. "Alone, I mean. I'm tired of you always inviting Beel or someone else with us."

He glances over to you idly thumbing at one of the books on his desk. It's frustrating. This game of touch and go he accidentally got himself into. Ugh- why did this have to be so hard. "I want to spend more time with you. Just us, so why are you always avoiding that?" 

"I.” You look down at your feet dangling off the side of his mattress. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I just felt like- like things were going off the rails between us.” You weren't oblivious to his advances.

He cocks his head in confusion. "Mmm? What are you afraid of?" You read a flicker in his eyes, a haunting memory of cruel fingers around your neck darken his gaze. "Ah-"

"No! No that's not it!" You panic waving your hands up. Of course, he would immediately go to that. "I'm just worried. I know you like me, and-just what if things don't work out? What if you realize what a mistake this could be?"

Your admission gives him pause. So you knew this whole time? Not surprising; he wouldn't fall for someone stupid. "So, are you admitting to liking me back?" He feels giddy when you nod, covering your heating face with your hands. " Well then, what’s the problem? It’s not a mistake if we both are making it.” He grins slyly. “How can it not work out if the feelings are mutual.”

“But what if you are mistaken?” He wraps you up into his arms, flopping you both over onto his messy bed. He takes one of your hands and places it on the top of his head all while burying his nose in your neck.

“Please,” He yawns, feeling his body grow heavy. “I don’t waste my energy on ‘mistakes’.”

[pair-annoyed]

Anime I Watched This Fall

My first semester of college is officially over and the December holidays are upon us! I hoped to make one of these posts sooner, but I have been incredibly busy with schoolwork. Now that things have slowed down, let’s take sometime to reflect on things I’ve watched. 

These anime are listed in chronological order and encompass everything I’ve watched from 9/1/2020 - 12/15/2020

Like always, they will be rated on a 1-10 scale; 1 meaning complete garbage, 10 meaning masterpiece. I will offer my thoughts on what I did/didn’t like about each show!

1. The God of High School - 6/10 

Despite the stellar animation from MAPPA and my high expectations, I was really disappointed by how this series was treated. Most of the story’s crucial elements were handled poorly. I finished this series feeling more confused about the plot than when I first began. The power system is really cool, but poorly explained. More time should have been spent on exposition and world building for this series, instead the fights were given the most screen time. 

2.  Doukyuusei - 7/10 

I really liked the style of Doukyuusei. Granted, this was another movie I chose to watch primarily because of the hype surrounding it. The dynamic between Kusakabe and Sajou is an interesting one, and I also enjoy how the movies different acts were separated by the seasons. However, there's nothing that really sets Doukyuusei apart from other romance movies, its a little generic. Still, I enjoyed it nonetheless. 

3.  Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu 2nd Season - 8/10 

My opinions on Re:Zero’s second season are biased. This was, by far, the sequel I was most hyped for during the summer/fall anime season. I was so happy to see the story’s continuation and I’m looking forward to the season’s second part coming sometime in January. Re:Zero is one of my all time favorite series because of the way it handles it characters and power dynamics. I also really enjoy the show’s psychological aspects. If you haven’t already, give Re:Zero a try! 

4. Saint☆Oniisan (Movie + OVA) - 8/10

This was a wonderful comedy. I wasn’t sure how the subject of Jesus and Buddha living together would be tackled, but it was handled wonderfully. I was laughing for pretty much the entire movie. I love the art style and little references to both Buddhism and Christianity, plus the incorporation of Japanese culture. Saint Oniisan is a bright comedy, with two eccentric main characters. If you like a show that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and need a good laugh, I can’t recommend this more.

5. Clannad: After Story - 10/10 

Never, while watching anime, did I cry as much as I did while watching Clannad: After Story. I didn’t realize how much I related to Okazaki until I saw him grow up in After Story. I was left sobbing, especially after episode 18. I still, to this day, cannot listen to the Dango song without tearing up. The original Clannad is nothing special, but the continuation of its story its something heartfelt, emotional, and down-to-earth. I love Kyoto Animation with all my heart, and Clannad made me appreciate everything the studio has done just a little bit more. Thank you Clannad, for reminding me about the kind of person I strive to be. 

6. Nakitai Watashi wa Neko wo Kaburu - 5.5/10

The art in A Whisker Away was beautiful. The story itself, however, is nothing too enjoyable. I found it difficult to like our protagonist or her love interest. Nothing about this movie is inherently memorable. The emotional climax came far too early which made the second half of the film seem long and drawn out.  All in all, the movie has a wonderful concept, I just believe it could have been so much more emotional than it was. When I watch a move, I like to empathize with the characters. It’s difficult to do when the characters aren’t given the proper exposition to be empathized with. 

7.  Shikioriori - 6/10

This is less of a movie and more of a collection of short stories. Flavors of Youth is something you shouldn’t watch on an empty stomach, all of the food looks incredible. The same cannot beside for the rest of this feature. The stories themselves seems heavily clichéd. Much like A Whisker Away, the initial premise is intriguing, but the execution results in something that comes across as trying too hard and carries no emotional weight with the viewer. If you plan on watching, pay more attention to the artwork and animation than the actual plot. You won’t be missing anything. 

8. Vinland Saga - 7/10

Vinland Saga helped me get out of the rut that Clannad: After Story. Not only does this show have a great story, its action packed with lots of interesting fights. I especially enjoyed all the Nordic history embedded within the show. Its really unlike any of the other historical anime I’ve watched. I will say, it’s gory. But, compared to all the other things I watched this time around, I finished this series the quickest. Its good, its graphic, its fast paced! 

9.  Mononoke Hime - 7/10

It’s ironic considering how much anime I’ve watched that I have yet to watch all of the most classic Studio Ghibli films. Princess Mononoke is grittier than most other Ghibli films I’ve seen, but it’s message is positive and its characters are wonderful. I can’t really speak ill towards classics like these. I guess maybe my one complaint is that this movie could’ve been a faster pace. Other than that... I really enjoyed everything Princess Mononoke offered! I understand why it’s so popular.  

10. Howl no Ugoku Shiro - 8.5/10 

Can you believe it took me this long to finally watch Howl’s Moving Castle? Me neither!! This movie is so endearingly beautiful. I loved every second of it, from the characters to the soundtrack. So many iconic things come from just this one movie. I would like to take this time to thank my best friend for reminding me that Studio Ghibli films are wonderful! Thank you for watching this with me, I loved it! All in all, I regret not watching this sooner! 

11. Toradora! - 6.5/10 

Toradora took me a while to finish, just because I lost interest about halfway through. But, I powered through it, and ended up really enjoying the show! I’m not the biggest fan of the ending, but that’s just a personal preference. Somehow, this show also made me cry? I’m not entirely sure why because Toradora! is probably the thing farthest from sad. Apart from the show’s dull slice of life moments, it was super cute! A much needed light-hearted romance. 

12. New Initial D Movie: Legend 1 - 5/10 

Full disclosure, this is the only thing related to Initial D that I’ve ever watched. My band and I watched this expecting to hear some of that iconic Initial D music, itself all we got was a mildly confusing story about different types of cars. It was cliché and frankly a little boring. Although, I am still considering watching the original Initial D just so I can hear the music in the way it was original intended. I’ve got no other opinions on this movie. It’s best not to watch these movies without the context from the rest of the franchise.  

13.  Uchuu Patrol Luluco - 7.5/10

I didn’t really understand why people enjoy studio Trigger so much until I watched Space Patrol Luluco. I loved all the fun references to other studio Trigger works. I loved the humor, and I loved all the bright colors. The animation was extremely high energy, and the art style fits the show’s premise. Each episode was only 12 minutes long so it was a super quick binge. If you’re looking for something quick, light-hearted and comical, this is the perfect show to watch.

14. Orange - 7/10 

I owe a big thanks to a tumblr mutual for recommending this show to me! This holds the honor of making me cry by episode 3! I honestly did not expect the subject matter of this show to be as dark as it was. Usually when I see the genre ‘shoujo’ I do not associate it with a love story like that of Orange. The heavy subject matter made it a little too close to home for me, but I still really enjoyed this series. It reminds me off all the good times I had with my friends in high school, and of all the regrets I carry with myself to this day. 

15. 3-gatsu no Lion - 7.5/10 

March Comes in Like a Lion is another show that was a bit of a slow burn for me. Each episode left me feeling emotionally drained, so I had to take a lot of breaks while I was working on watching this series. Shaft, the studio behind this anime, holds a special place in my heart because I loved their work on the Monogatari Series. March Comes in Like a Lion is a little different. It’s driving force it is characters, and it was cathartic to watch our main character transform through the entire duration of the first season. I know the show’s second season is much better, so I’ll be starting that soon! 

16. Yojouhan Shinwa Taikei - 8/10 

I loved how artsy and smart The Tatami Galaxy is, but honestly I couldn’t watch too much at once cause it would hurt my head. I also couldn’t watch this show while I was tired because the speaking rate is much faster than typical anime. The Tatami Galaxy is so unique for its medium. I loved the different time loops and the crazy animation. The characters were fascinating. The dialogue, although very fast, it also fantastic. There’s an element of humor to this unique story telling, and I enjoyed ever minute of it! 

Currently Watching:

Hunter x Hunter - 6.5/10 (As of Episode 30)

I pride myself in having watched a lot of shounen anime, but I was reluctant to start Hunter x Hunter for years because I thought I would find it boring. I was oh so very wrong. Considering great shows like Naruto and Fairy Tail that fall under the same category, I expected Hunter x Hunter to be subpar in comparison. It gets a low score for two reasons. One, the power system was introduced a little too late and now I’m wondering if all the fights post episode 30 will involved nen in some way, shape, or form. Two, its still on hiatus. 

Two Cursed Additions For This List

Please to do not let these be representative of my anime taste. 

1.  Yarichin☆B*tch-bu - 4/10

I am a CLOWN for not knowing this was 18+. The only reason I watched this was to see why everyone was talking about the pink-haired boy with the glasses and tongue piecing. I know why now, and I regret it. This was a massive mistake on my part. But hey, at the least the art and ending song kinda slap? 

2. Euphoria (Dropped After 1 Episode) - 2/10

If you know what I’m talking about when I say Euphoria, I am so sorry. And no, I am not talking about the HBO series. Seriously, don’t google this. Don’t watch this. Don’t interact with anything related to this. You’re probably wondering, “Then why did you watch it?” I did not watch this willingly. You see, I have a very bad habit of starting anime and then taking months to finish them. I made an ultimatum with a friend, lost, and then was forced to watch this a punishment. Not a fun experience. I’m very glad there are no GIFs of this on tumblr...

[g0ldengubler]

chapter 3~a night on the town

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: hi everyone! this song is what I thought would be playing in a certain part of the story. I'll put a * at the part. yes, it's minecraft but i could care less bc it’s very calming and dreamy. i also quickly want to say thank you so much for the love on nauseous like it truly means a lot and it’s what’s keeping me going :’) if anyone could give a lesson in tumblr fanfic writing tho that would be great bc i feel like such a grandma xD thank you again for reading and enjoyyy :)

Category: fluff

CW: smoking weed (i don’t encourage this but please smoke responsibly if u ever do!)

Word Count: 1545

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

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You're suddenly in a beautiful part of the park. You didn't see this on your little mini tour, but it was magical. Spencer took you over to a giant tree on a small hill off the pond. The light from the moon made the water twinkle as the two of you sat under the tree. You felt like you were in a fairytale, and this was like a forest filled with fairy magic. It had rained a bit sometime in the late afternoon, so the ground beneath you and the leaves on the trees sparkled with dew drops. The sight of it all filled you with wonder. The night hadn't even really started yet and already you wished the sun never came up again. This couldn't end.

Spencer sat against the tree as he rummages through his bag to find his pen. "I'm speechless," You said as you sat down diagonal of him, "This place is breathtaking."

"I tend to come by here to read when I can't sleep or during the day having trouble on a case," said Spencer, "I found this spot around the time I first joined the BAU. It keeps me grounded."

You grab your pen out of your bag and hold it in your hands, waiting for Spencer. He finally finds his in the bottom of his bag and takes it out. You click your pens on and Spencer froze, not knowing what to do.

"Do we...cheers?" He asks, "Like we do when we drink?"

"Not usually, no," you chuckled, "But if you want to we can."

"You sound like you've done this before, Y/N."

"Meh, I experimented a bit in high school and college. But I never did it everyday like my classmates. Just here and there if I was really stressed."

Spencer brings his pen close to yours. "Well, cheers!" He says awkwardly.

"Cheers!" You giggle.

You both take three or four hits. On the last hit, Spencer started coughing. "Did you accidentally take a really big hit?" You ask.

"I think-" He coughs again, "-so!"

After his little coughing attack, you both laugh. You shift your weight onto your elbows. Legs straight out, you let the high take over your body. Spencer puts his head against the tree. He takes a couple more hits and let's it hit him. You start to feel the tingles again through your body and your eyes getting heavy.

"I wonder what the percentage of these carts are," you said, "I should ask Garcia."

"It must be a lot if I already feel like I smoked a whole blunt by myself."

"Well I was gonna that it's just because you're a beginner so you'll be a lightweight, but now you sound like you've done this before, Doctor."

"I swear I just know my research! I've never smoked before last night."

"Mmhmm, surrrre," you said as you started to get up from the ground, using the tree as support, "I'm sure it was just for that paper."

You grab your bag and rub the grass and dirt that was on your pants. You give a hand to Spencer as he gets up and you start heading outside of the park. You both stood there, looking around. "So, is there anywhere you'd like to revisit?"

You think for a moment. "How about the Lincoln Memorial?"

"Perfect!"

He lends his arm out and you link yours with his as you walk to the Lincoln Memorial. There was a nice cool breeze as you walked under the city lights, your blurry vision making it feel like you were in a movie. You looked up at Spencer and saw that his eyelids were a little bit lower than usual. You felt panic hit you as you unlock your phone and open snapchat. Turning the flash on, you look at the top of your phone and took a photo. You looked at your eyes and noticed they were a bit pink, but nothing to worry about.

"You ok?" asked Spencer.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My eyes get red easily when I'm high so I'm just checking."

"My dear, you look quite marvelous if I do say so myself!" He says, using a british accent, which made you laugh.

Finally, you made it to the memorial. You debated on climbing all those steps to the top, but Spencer made a bet that he could beat you to the top, and you weren't going to back out of a challenge. You both speed up the steps but Spencer beats you.

"Who's the pussy now, huh?" Spencer teases from what you said the night before, out of breath.

You put your hands on your knees, trying to catch yours. "Very funny, Doctor."

Once your breathing went back to normal, you slowly walked closer to the statue, admiring it. "You know," you began, "While my love for crime fighting was my whole life, I had a small interest in President Lincoln. I have no clue why, but I've been reading books about him since I was 4."

You paused for a moment, then turned around to face Spencer. "I have a fact for you, Doctor," you began, but then Spencer cut you off.

"You know you can call me Spencer or Spence, right? Come to think of it, you're the only one who calls me Spence."

"Ok, well Spence,"  you restated, "Have you heard of the theory that he might've been a closeted gay or bisexual man?"

"No actually, I haven't heard much on it only that it was debunked."

"That is true, but if it wasn't debunked I'd see him more as a closeted bisexual man, not gay."

"Why do you say that?" asked Spencer.

"Because people always forget about it. Bisexuality is real. He truly loved Mary with all his heart and would do anything for her, but I'm sure he questioned his sexuality at some point and just never went deeper into it."

You paused again, seeing if he was paying attention. You then turn back to face Lincoln and continued, "Take Freddie Mercury, for example. Now when he came out to his Mary, he came out as bisexual. But the public just took it as that he was gay because bisexuality wasn't seen by the public as a real sexuality, even Mary. It makes me angry at how long biphobia went on for. As someone who is bisexual, I don't want to feel like a ghost. I want to feel real."

Spencer slowly walks up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder. He turns you around and you look up at him with glassy, pink-colored eyes. "Y/N, you are real. Everything about you is to me."

You put your hand on top of his, not breaking the look into each other's eyes. Or well, what you could see through his eyelids.

*The two of you then headed down the steps carefully and continue on your tour. But it slowly ended as you ended up walking down the empty streets. At one point, you ended up on cobble road. The two of you were pretty baked, as you would take more hits whenever no one was looking or there weren't too many people walking or driving. Spencer began to act like he was on a tight rope as he walked along parking blocks. He held your hand for support, trying not to fall and twist his ankle.

*You felt content. You never really experienced something like this before, but you always dreamt about it. You never really went out much when you were in school. You focused all your time in your room, working  on schoolwork and keeping up with what Rossi was doing in the BAU and the cases they were working on.  Rossi was like an idol to you. Ever since you met him, you wanted to do what he was doing; Saving people and getting the bad guys, protecting citizens. But you always dreamt of having an adventure like this with a true friend, and even though you had only known Spencer for a week now, he already was like that true friend.

*But you were also feeling something more. There was something about Spencer holding your hand that just felt...right. It was so hard to explain, even to yourself as you tried to figure out what you were feeling exactly. Maybe it was just the high you were feeling, but looking at his face, Spencer seemed to be quite cute. So cute, that you felt butterflies.

*He jumps off a parking block under a tall street lamp and grabs your other hand in his. He looks down to you as you look up. Finally, his lips lock with yours and you don't stop him. You kiss him back as your arms wrapped around each other, feeling every inch of each other's bodies.

Spencer breaks the kiss and cups your face in his hands. "Do you want to continue our little fun we had the other night?" he asked, almost in a raspy tone.

You nodded and kissed him again.

[myficdump]

Love Like You: Ch.1

Here it is! The Eddsworld fic I've been writing for 3 days :D. This is a platonic soulmates fic with soul marks and so far, the main focus is on platonic yandere Tord & Edd. This is going to be a multi-chapter fic and there won't be any ships. All pairings are platonic. I've yet to decide Tord's age, but I'm thinking maybe 26? Edd, Tom, and Matt are 17. Also, I have big events planned out but everything in between is vague so ideas are appreciated.

The title is from the su song Love Like You, but it might change as I figure things out and if I find something that fits better. I hope you guys like this! <3 <3 <3

_______________________________

The three marks practically covered his entire forearm. Although they were three different flowers, they just clicked. They fit so well that unless you were close up, it looked like one soul mark. Edd liked that. It perfectly described his relationship with his three friends. Or, soon to be three friends. He had hoped he’d find the third one soon. Two of the marks belonged to Tom and Matt, who he found when he was young. He felt so complete when he brushed against them on the school’s playground. It was as if they filled a gap in his soul that he never realized he was missing.

Edd’s third mark was a mix of black and red today. It was a stark contrast from the mix of light blue and yellow of Tom’s and Matt’s marks. Hesitantly, Edd brushed his fingers against the top mark and winced. A sharp jab of dull anger and agitation welled up into his chest. Ah, something had really set off his friend today. He moved his hand lower down his forearm to trace over Tom and Matt’s soul marks instead. A wave of calm and contentedness swept the echoes of the anger away and he pulled his hoodie sleeve down.

While he liked running his hand over his marks as he did his schoolwork, he didn’t want to continuously touch his top mark if his friend was having an awful day. It would affect his own mood. He worried that if he did, then his friend would touch their own mark and then both of them would stay in a vicious cycle of intense negative emotions. It was a real concern as it’s happened a few times before.

Edd often keeps his hand pressed against his top mark, basking in his friend’s good mood. Especially when he’s had a rough day at school. Of course, his friend took notice once as they pressed their hand against their mark and their emotions intensified. Slowly, his mood lifted and when he concentrated enough, he was able to send a “Hi!” with as much warmth as he could. No matter what soul mark a person had, they were always able to talk to their soulmate if both of them were touching the mark at the same time and concentrated hard enough. He didn’t do this much with Tom and Matt as he saw them practically every day and had their numbers, but it was rare he was able to talk to his friend.

It was also rare because his friend didn’t touch their mark at the same time as him often.

After sending his greeting, his top mark changed to a deep white mixed with dark pink. Edd had laughed seeing that. It wasn’t often his friend was surprised. And seeing the affection mixed in made warmth fill his chest.

“Hello!” His friend sent back. “You sound young.”

Edd laughed. Of all the things his friend could have said, they had to comment on his voice. His friend didn’t sound bad themselves. Their voice was deep, with an accent he couldn’t place. Still, he wasn’t going to assume their gender. Only looking out for one type of person could cause him to miss who they were.

“No! I’ll be an adult soon,” He sent back, tongue sticking out in focus. “You have a… nice voice.!”

“Thank you. Listen, I have to go now. But I'll find you. I promise.” A tinge of regret passed through him, but they sent him another wave of affection through their mark.

Quickly, before they moved their hand, Edd sent, “I can’t wait to meet you!” along with his best attempt to project his own affection and happiness to them. He didn’t know if it worked, but their emotions dulled.

In hopes that they’d be able to do that again soon, he kept his hand pressed against his mark for ten more minutes until his mom called him downstairs for dinner.

So yeah, he wasn’t going to do that right now. At least, not until he checks later if his friend’s mood changes.

If that short conversation wasn’t proof enough, his friend was definitely older than him. Perhaps not old enough to be his third grandparent, but certainly older than him. Plus, he’s had that mark on his arm since he was born. All three of his marks were platonic soul marks, which were the flower type. Most often, these signaled platonic love. Edd took that to mean that all three of his soul marks were his best friends.

Romantic soul marks were often different, but as he and neither of his friends had one, he doesn’t know much about them since he never bothered to look into it.

Half of his childhood had been spent figuring out what his and his friends' marks were. After they learned how to read, they spent at least an hour inside the library searching for flowers that matched their marks. Finding them was difficult, but they were pretty sure his top marks were Heliotropes! And according to the flower guide they found, it meant eternal love/devotion. It was sweet and had him convinced that his friend would be his best friend.

The second mark on his arm, Tom’s, were Chrysanthemums. “You’re a wonderful friend,” the book had said it meant. His third and final mark, Matt, was Lisianthus. They represent appreciation/admiration for a friend, gratefulness, and charisma.

Unlike Edd, Tom and Matt only had two flower marks. Tom’s first mark, Edd, was Asters. It had meant a form of deep emotional love and affection, along with the message of “take care of yourself for me”. It was very fitting, A Hyacinth, Matt’s mark, was Tom’s last mark. Interestingly enough, under the picture of the flower, the book just said “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” Other books just said they meant sorrow, regret, and forgiveness. Any time Edd asks about it, Tom clams up and asks him to leave it alone. Some things were just not meant to be shared.

Matt’s first mark, Edd, was Morning Glories. They meant affection and love. His second mark, Tom, was Daisy’s. While meaning loyal love and purity, there was also a deeper meaning of keeping a secret between friends. Again, there was a story there. Edd didn’t know what the secret could be, but based on his friends' reactions when he asked them, he left it alone.

Each of their marks was on their left forearms and except for Tom’s single Hyacinth, they were in bunches with multiples of the same flower.

Edd loved them, he really did. When he doubted his friendship with them, he’d look at his marks and remind himself that’s what they thought of him. It was just hard sometimes, to remember that he was loved. Sometimes he felt like an imposter, like he didn’t deserve their love. If asked why, he wouldn’t be able to put it into words. It was just how he felt at times.

Late at night when he wasn’t feeling too great, when stress just ate at him, he’d run his fingers over his arm, feeling his mark and whatever emotions his friend was feeling. He’d remind himself that if nothing else, the Heliotropes showed that his friend would always love him. Oftentimes, his friend was feeling content at night, and feeling that while stressed really helped him calm down.

Though on rare nights, his friend fed into his stress, morphing his feelings into a wave of intense anger as he rubbed his mark. He hated those nights but could never bring himself to move his hand away from his mark.

Edd sighed and put his pencil down. He didn’t feel like finishing his schoolwork anymore. Maybe Tom and Matt could come over and play games with him?

* * * * *

Meanwhile, in another country, Tord was pacing back and forth in his office. “Fucking incompetent, pieces of shit,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “They had one job! One easy, little job and still they fucked it up!”

He ran a shaky hand through his hair. As the job truly was an easy one, how this happened, Tord didn’t have a clue. All those two idiots had to do was go into the government building, collect the information from the mole he planted there, and bring it back. That was it! Tord could’ve done it himself if he wasn’t so busy. And yet, the two morons were still caught, very nearly giving away the identity of his mole.

He wished he could bring the two back and torture them for this. But alas, they were already dead. Tord couldn’t afford either of them giving up any information on his army so he had them exterminated before they could be questioned. It didn’t stop him from wanting to smash something.

A knock on his door caused Tord to pause. As he took a deep breath, he stuck two fingers into the sleeve of his left arm to briefly trace his mark. He couldn’t see the color, but a cool flow of calmness and excitement pricked his rage. It was enough to stop him from shouting.

“You may enter.”

Paul entered the room, which wasn’t a surprise. He was one of the few who weren’t scared shitless to bother him when he was in a rage.

“You’re going on a vacation.”

“Excuse me,” Tord said flatly, a scowl on his face.

Paul continued on as if he wasn’t in danger of being shot in the foot. Well, to be fair, he wasn’t. Tord would never get rid of one of the more competent people in his army and Paul fully knew it. “With all due respect, don’t even try to argue with me. I could practically hear you grinding your teeth from outside the door and you’re going to wear a hole in your carpet. At this point, if you don’t rest, you’re going to give yourself stress ulcers.”

Closing his eyes, Tord took another deep breath and counted to ten. For good measure, he shoved his fingers into his sleeve again to press against his mark. The calmness and excitement soothed his rage as he said with an even voice, “And who else agrees with you?”

“The only name I’ll give up is Pat. I’m not stupid enough to think you won’t take your anger out at anyone else. Get ready, the plane leaves tonight.”

“You really aren’t going to give me enough time to sort anything out?”

Paul shot him an annoyed look. “No, because knowing you, you’ll just get too sucked into your work and not pack. I’ll take care of anything urgent.” He saluted Tord before leaving.

Tord rubbed his temples as he muttered, “He didn’t even tell me where I was going.” He dropped into his seat and yanked his desk drawer open. Leaning back in his chair, he lit a cigar and planned countless scenarios of his “vacation”.

A small part of his mind hoped he could find the owner of his mark. They seemed so nice compared to him.

Knowledge of his leave was no doubt spreading through his base like a wildfire, so he had no doubt no one would bother him. His soul mark was safe from prying eyes, so he rolled up his sleeve and traced the outline of the Sunflowers. His face morphed from a scowl to a small smile. His beloved was still feeling calm and excited. He wondered what they were up to.

The Sunflowers lived up to their name as they truly did bring warmth to his life. They were supposed to mean adoration and loyalty. He hadn’t met them yet, but considering they were a kid, the sunflowers were fitting. It’d be even more apparent once he met them.

Tord’s smile dropped. He really wanted to find them, get to know them, and fill their bond. But what about his army? So many people wanted him dead and in no good conscience could he drag a kid into this mess. He never allowed anyone under eighteen to join and from the short talk he had with his beloved, they sounded too young to be eighteen. People could say what they wanted about him, but he refuses to have child soldiers.

If he found them, he’d have to bring them back here. Hiding them here was the only way he could keep them safe.

With that train of thought, Tord sat up. Already a plan was forming in his mind. Nothing could be concrete until he met them, but he’d have an empty room ready for him near his own. Just in case he found them on this trip. Chances were slim but he hated not being prepared.

With that in mind, he left his office to go pack. The thought of finding them made this trip a little more bearable.

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 3

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: Interview Round 1 and our first encounter

Previous chapter here

----------------------------- You bartended through the weekend without incident. You had honestly kind of forgotten about your strange encounter with Mr. Rude Dimples as you geared up for another work week. You arrived at your office job early Monday morning and headed to the breakroom. You loaded up on coffee and some fruit someone had sat out and went to your desk. At exactly 8 am you opened up your emails. You scanned through the work correspondence answering a few quick questions and queuing up some to answer after you checked on a few things. You then opened up your personal email and almost fell out of your chair when you saw **Google Calendar invitation: Job Interview. Very Personal Assistant. BTS Corporate Accept/Decline**

You opened it and lo and behold there was an invitation to a job interview this Thursday at Grindhouse Coffee Shop. You shook your head, so maybe it was a real job. Maybe. You were relieved to see the interview was in such a public location. You went into your work calendar and marked yourself out of office for an hour and half. You never took any time off so it wouldn’t be a problem. How does one prepare for a job interview for a personal assistant? You wondered. 

You opened an incognito window and started researching job interview questions and also looked into what exactly BTS Corporate was. It was a media company who seemed to dabble in everything from modeling to music. You recognized two of the models immediately, JK and V. They were both well known in the modeling world and graced the covers of many magazines. Ok so this was a legit company. Cool. Cool.  Oh my God, you thought. What if the position was to be an assistant to a model who was as hot as those two? You remained calm. You had bartended and been around hot dudes before. It would be fine. You would be fine. You kept the incognito window open as you returned to your actual job and continued to email and message colleagues about your projects. You also skimmed through BTS Corporate’s website to learn more about the company and spy on some of the other models and talent who they employed. 

The rest of the day went by without incident and you were excited for two reasons: one, you had a job interview at a place that paid more than your two of your current jobs combined, and you had Monday night off from bartending. You headed home, looking forward to spending time with your family.  

You rarely got to see your brother, who was in his second year of high school, and your sister, who was finishing up elementary school. You walked into the apartment, slipping off your shoes and work bag. 

“Hey everyone!” You yelled and headed into the living room.  Your sister and niece were doing their homework on the coffee table side by side. “Hey girls. How was school today?”

You got some noncommittal “goods” out of them and left them to their schoolwork. Your brother would be at cram school for another two hours. You walked into the kitchen where your aunt was preparing some food.

“Hello Aunt Vi,” you said, scooting around her towards the refrigerator to make yourself useful. “How can I help?”

“Hello [y/n]. If you could get the rice cooker ready and prepare the chicken that would be great.”

“You got it,” you responded, dutifully beginning the tasks you were assigned. You loved your Aunt Vi and were so grateful she was able to take the three of you in. The apartment was cramped and she did her best to make sure you all never felt like you were imposing. But, it was hard not to feel that way given the circumstances. You found your mind wandering back to the job interview. With that much money you could easily afford to either pay for a larger apartment for all of them, or pay for your brother to live at the school’s dormitory. You tried not to let yourself get too excited about it, you still weren't sure if it was a real job. And you had already had more disappointments in the past 5 years than you could deal with. You tried to keep it from making you pessimistic, but it definitely made you wary of most situations. Especially ones that seemed too good to be true. 

“Suho called this afternoon,” she said quietly while chopping green onion. 

You involuntarily flinched. “Oh? I’m sorry. I didn’t give him this number.”

“I know I know. He asked for you and wanted to talk to your sister.” She paused, “I told him to go to hell.” 

It was always weird for you to hear your very proper aunt curse, but when it came to Suho, there was no escaping the rage she felt. And rightfully so.

You nodded your head. “Good. I’ll see about getting our number changed again.” You said, feeling like it was your responsibility. 

She didn’t say anything in response and the two of you continued to make dinner together silently. 

--------------------------

The rest of the week flew by. Office job, bartend, check on your siblings’ homework, check your bank account, pay your aunt, skillfully balance every cent in your checking account, sleep, caffeinate, repeat.  Before you knew it, Thursday afternoon had arrived. 

You walked into the coffeeshop. Grindhouse Coffee was across the city, near Club Tokki, so you had to watch your time carefully. You immediately noticed a large concentration of very attractive women with perfect faces and perfect tits. Damn. Were they here for the  same position?

“Tokki,” you heard a voice call towards you. You turned and saw Mr. Rude Dimples walking towards you with a tablet in hand. Oh God, you had a nickname? “Rich Asshole.” you waved, smiling “It’s nice to see you again.”

He guffawed, clearly not expecting that. “I am conducting your job interview Tokki,” he loosened his neck tie. “You should watch your mouth.”

You raised your eyebrows. “I’m pretty sure my mouth is what landed me this interview since it clearly wasn’t my good looks” you gestured to the space around you. “And it’s ‘[y/n]’ not Tokki.”

He swiped his tablet. “Got you all checked in. I’ll let you know when it’s your turn.” He shook his head as he walked away. 

Yoongi sulked at a booth in the cafe, his delicate lips pressed firmly into a pout. He refused to take part in the interviews or look at the resumes, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. So far he was unimpressed. It was like walking around work: a bunch of models who all looked the same. Who the hell would believe he would marry one of these women? He sighed. You shouldn’t judge someone based on their looks, he reminded himself. He kept one earbud in, lazily eavesdropping on the people in the cafe. A group of three women were sitting in the next booth over. 

“I wonder what kind of job this is. It sounds like an escort service but like also a secretary.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I wonder if it’s for one of the models.”

They continued to prattle on about the job, how Namjoon has approached them, and stuff like that. Yoongi scanned his phone and looked over, Namjoon was interviewing one of the girls right now. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking out over the cafe again. Maybe he would grab a coffee. He pulled out his other earbud and got up to order his usual iced Americano. 

“I totally think that’s what it is. What kind of loser has to pay for someone to date him?”

“Yeah. And it’s definitely not that guy,” she gestured over to Namjoon. “He’s hot. This guy is probably hella ugly. Like rich and ugly. Which I guess I could get over for the price tag.” The girls all laughed.

Yoongi felt his face grow red. That’s what all these women thought about him. Some rich loser idiot desperate for their attention and willing to sell themselves off for his and BigHit’s attention. He didn’t even want this. He didn’t need this shit. He headed towards the door. Fuck this place. Fuck these girls. Fuck Namjoon.

You looked up from your seat by the door to see a man around your age walking over quickly and pushing the door open hard. You shrugged, he must have realized he was late or something. You looked back to where he had been sitting and saw he had left his earbuds sitting on the table. You got up and walked over and saw that he had actually left his very expensive earbuds. Shit. You could probably catch him if you tried. You picked them up and headed for the door.

“Where are you going Tokki?” You heard Namjoon say as he got up from the interview table, clearly done with his latest interview.

“I’ll be right back.” You yelled, “Probably!” You amended. You had been spending the past fifteen minutes talking  yourself out of the interview. You knew your office skills were mediocre, your mouth got you into trouble all the time, and you were so not as pretty as every other girl in there. 

You peered out onto the sidewalk looking for the black hat and black outfit. Damn it. Wait. Across the street. You waited for the traffic signal to change and then ran across the street. By the time the signal had changed he was far ahead of you. “Hey!! Hey you!” You yelled, ever so inelegantly across the sea of people. There was no way he was going to hear you from where you were. His head was down and he was definitely in the zone. But, you were running and he was walking so you finally caught up with him by the next block. “Hey, you,” you pulled gently on the back of his jacket. “You…”

Yoongi turned to see what was happening. He had heard a woman yelling but assumed she would have been talking to someone else. He saw a girl around his same age and height standing there, panting slightly like she had just exercised. He was still upset from the whole cafe incident, leaving him short tempered and just wanting to get somewhere private. “What?” He asked tersely.

You stood eye to eye with him. This guy was good looking. And kind of rude. Oh well, you thought he had been in a hurry when you started chasing him.  “Here,” you held the earbuds out in their case. “You left these on the table.” 

He looked at you for an extra second, suspicion in his eyes. “Thanks.” He took them from you and relaxed slightly. “At Grindhouse?”

“Yeah.” You fan your face. Running in office clothing sucked.  Ok. Well your business here was concluded. You stood there for another few awkward seconds. 

Yoongi looked at the girl who was standing in front of him. He hadn’t seen her in the cafe, and he couldn’t believe she had run the few blocks to return the headphones. He tried to think of something to say. Small talk was not his strong suit. “Do you work near here?”

You huffed and puffed a little, still recovering from your unexpected jog. “No. I work across town.” You thought for a second.  “Well during the day anyways. I do actually work near here at night though at Club Tokki.”

Yoongi put the earbuds in his bag. “What brings you to this side of town then? The coffee’s not that good.” He deadpanned.

You shrugged, “Eh, I’m supposed to have a job interview. I don’t know though. It seems shady and that place was populated with models who I think are also going for it. I think I’ll just get some of that coffee that you don’t recommend and head back to my day job.”

Yoongi stood there putting the pieces together. You were there for that interview. Normal-looking you who apparently already worked two jobs. He sighed, feeling like a creep for knowing more about the job than you did and knowing that it would be working with him. He rubbed along his jawline with his hand, “I don’t know. I think you should go for it. Maybe you’ll stand out.”

You laughed, “Because I’m ugly and sweaty?” You teased, you knew you were normal looking and could be pretty if you did your hair and make-up. 

You thought you saw the tiniest hint of a smile as he replied, “Yes. Take your ugly face back there and apply for the interview and do better than those models.”

You rolled your eyes, “That was the shittiest pep talk I have ever had in my life but ok. I’ll march back in there sweating like a pig and do my best.”

“I wish you luck. Thanks again for the earbuds.” He said, giving you a polite wave as he turned and started to walk back to BigHit’s headquarters.

You laughed a little bit and decided, what the hell, you might as well go for it. You returned to Grindhouse, to the seeming annoyance of Rude Dimples. 

“Finally Tokki, I was getting ready to give your time slot to the fucking barista.” He gestured to the table.

“Oh my God, you are so immature. How are you the one in charge of this interview?” You asked as you took a seat in the chair.

“I’m the boss of the company Tokki, if you don’t like it you might want to leave now.”

“One: From my research, as President and CEO, Hitman Bang is the boss of the company. You’re the CIO. Two: I’m guessing this isn’t an interview to be your assistant or I definitely wouldn’t be here. Three: it's [y/n]. So let’s get to the part where you ask me questions and I answer.”

Namjoon sat there for a minute, opening and shutting his mouth a few times in shock. He spread his hands out along the table. “Huh. I’ll give you that you actually did research on the company. Well done. Let’s begin.” NEXT CHAPTER

[almost-correct-bnha-quotes]

I love you

Request/tags: @reality-is-often-disappointing

Ship: Aizawa x Reader

Summary: After some tough weeks at work, a haircut you weren’t really proud of and some mean comments, you breakdown under the pressure. Luckily, Aizawa is there to comfort you.

____________________________________________

Your breath was shaky as you doodled something on a piece of paper, in an attempt to distract yourself from the blue emotions whirling in your head. You got a haircut recently that wasn't perfect, but was okay, in your opinion. Not everyone seemed to agree. You had a few negative thoughts when looking in the mirror, and the comments you gained from certain family members managed to bring you down a lot.

In another time, you would have resisted better, perhaps, but you did have some difficult weeks at work that didn’t really help your mood up, either. Eventually, you felt your emotions get the best of you. You felt how the lump in your throat grew tighter and more irritating as your eyes began stinging. God, no, you thought. 

For a moment, you checked your phone. It was 5 PM and you expected your boyfriend, Aizawa to enter the house any minute. He finished his classes around this hour, and you hoped he wouldn’t get called for a Pro Hero meeting, patrol or some other job-related business that evening. Those things usually ate up all the evening (and often the night as well), along with all his energy. You wondered, for a moment, if it was selfish of you to ask this much from the universe. In truth, it wasn’t. The unverse seemed to notice your struggle, as keys jingled in the front door, allowing the person you were expecting to enter the house.

“Y/N, I’m home!” He called out, tiredness audible in his voice. 

Youbit your lip, unsure how to respond for a moment. You didn’t want to worry him, but God you needed a hug and some reassurance from him.

“Eh… great!” You said, your voice slightly hoarse from the lump of emotions in your throat, “How was your day?”

Aizawa sighed as he took his jacket off. As much as you tried, you still couldn’t fool him. He’s known you for a solid five years now and dated you for three of them. He probably knew you the best. 

“My day was fine, the usual schoolwork.” he said as he walked up the stairs. He pushed the door to your office open and looked at you softly. “Now, how was your day?”

He walked up to you and rubbed your back slowly. You always found it comforting but this time, even if it still remained comforting, it only resulted in you bursting in tears. 

“Oh dear,” he muttered, “Oh no.”

“I- I’m sorry,” You said. God, you felt like a burden.

“No, no, don’t apologise. Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong. Come, let’s lay down.”

You stood up slowly and let him carry you to your bedroom, taking slow steps between sobs.The two of you lay down in bed as, unnoticed until then, your cat, a fluffy grey Siberian tomcat named Pogo, followed you into your bedroom. He jumped on the bed at your feet and looked at you curiously, probably wondering why you were so sad. If he could’ve fully understood why you were so upset that day -and week, to be fair- he would’ve said the nicest things to you.

Luckily for you, Pogo was a smart cat. He knew you were upset and although not knowing why you felt the way you did, he made sure to cuddle to your feet, rubbing his fur to your legs. It was something that resulted in you snorting a little in amusement, much to everyone’s relief.

“So, what happened?” Aizawa asked, playing with your hair.

You began to tell him all about those mean comments you received from your family, the tough days with school in which you were literally drowning under the work and pressure to get all your tasks done and the insomnia nights in which blasting music in your earphones felt like the best medicine in the world against the endless daylight frustrations and occupations. Aizawa smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth.

“Silly kitten,” he said, calling you the nickname he always used when amused with you and comforted you, “Going through all this and telling me nothing? Those people who raised you must be blind and dumb. You are beautiful, especially with this new hairstyle. It gives you a fresh look, you know? A cool look. It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful. Whatever you do or say is already perfect.”

“But… that won’t stop them from being rude to me.”

“You’re right. They might not stop. But let’s try not to put their comments to the heart, shall we? You have me with you.”

You nodded. “Okay.”

“Good girl, kitten,” he said. 

He bopped your nose and wrapped his hands around you. You pressed your head against his chest. Through his soft, dark blouse, you could hear the rhythmical, calming beats of his heart. 

“Everything’s going to be okay,” he whispered in your ear, “I promise, Y/n. Everything’s going to be okay. I love you.”